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Haiku - choking
I'm gasping for air
palpitating hearts rhythm
calm is conceded
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Author information
Region & Country
Beyond the Black Stump..Taree NSW...
Favorite Poets
Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...
Comments
Seren
Fri, 2013-02-08 04:13
ello Eph
Lol @ false teeth I don't mind your mad mood
Very glad you liked my little haiku
Love Jc xxx
("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)
author commentIan.T
Fri, 2013-02-08 03:31
Jayne
A very good Haiku, you just rest a while and we will see you here again in a week or so, Yours thinking of you as always, Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Seren
Fri, 2013-02-08 04:17
No rest for the wicked !!
No rest for the wicked !! Very glad you liked my haiku
Talk to you very soon
Love always Jc xxx
("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)
author commentIan.T
Fri, 2013-02-08 04:23
Damn it Girl
You get orft and rest, we will wait for you no matter how long you rest.
BUT REST you MUST lol.
Will talk later I have a card to make ?? Yours as always Ian xx
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Seren
Fri, 2013-02-08 04:42
I'm laying down lol I will
I'm laying down lol I will take it easy
Talk soon Jc love ~
("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)
author commentNordic cloud
Sun, 2013-02-10 11:01
The only thing, if it is a
The only thing, if it is a haiku,
it's language is difficult, the aim
of them is succinct simplicity,
a message easy to understand,
and usually with some kind of hint
at the season.
The last line could be,
a descending bird
or the wide landscape.
Which might help you see what I mean,
just saying what I felt Jayne,
Love to you Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.