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Fat Freddy (Chapter 1 of A Barrow-load of Untold Stories)

Behind the Tyler-Tickletoes’ big, farm-house,
not far from the old graceful fig tree’s leaves,
amongst the long stems of green, wild-oat grass,
lives Fat-Freddy, the frog, and his best mate, Old-Jeeves.

The sort of green frogs one sees any day,
they’re both of the garden variety,
brought to the back yard by Tiny-Tommy
from the lake near the town, in another story.

Into his pocket he had stuffed Fat-Fred.
Old-Jeeves, in an attempt to save his friend,
had stuck his suction pads onto Fred’s head
and had too gone along for the ride in the end.

When they see Tiny-Tommy they hide in the shrub -
never again do they want into that pocket.
It had three dead snails, a witchetty grub
and the lost gold chain of Mary-Rose’s locket,

which got caught around poor Old-Jeeves’ wide pate
and is now at the bottom of the pond.
That‘s another story I might one day narrate,
and why, of Tiny-Tommy’s pocket they’re not fond.

They feast on flies, and also mosquitoes
and other insects that other-wise would
annoy or bite the Tyler-Tickletoes
so, really, though imported, they do lots of good.

For them to settle-in to country life,
after having grown up in the city,
took quite a while, was not without some strife,
I might tell you about it eventually.

They soon got to know the farm animals,
such as Fred-Belch, who controls the dumb sheep
two cats, ten chickens, two white cockerels
and the family of rabbits that live up the creek.

Not far from the fig tree’s graceful spreading leaves,
amongst the grass-green of the wild-oat stems,
lives Fat-Freddy, the frog, and his best mate, Old-Jeeves.
One day I might tell you some stories about them.
.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

i would love you to come back when you find time to tell me where you found the rhythm out

i have read it over and over, and i can't see where
even a pommy bastard, with his accent's air
would find his tongue slip on words, so please do share
i swear you must be speaking in yellow
and now no longer care
lol

love from
your bud
xxx
.

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

dear judy that brought to memories some other alike tales like the city mouse and the farm mouse.Nothing to offer but can see a future for more such enjoyable tales.Regards

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

reading pages 33,34. "Twenty My Pretty Ponies" I know this is a bit kind of reflections from childhood memories,that's why it comes so vivid and lively.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

for both of your very kind comments
i actually wasn't writing of childhood memories though

it is an attempt at poetry that perhaps adults would enjoy reading to kids
i have a few written that i was thinking of submitting, they eventually tell a story.... i envision them with a stanza to a page and artwork on the page opposite... lol what do you think, would adults enjoy reading this to their kids?

love judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Perhaps I wasn't clear about the memories thing. I in fact was refering to the fig tree which you've mentioned as had been part of the spacious back yard where you where playing after school..

As for the adults reading this to their kids I am sure it is really enjoyable especially if accompined with work art as you've just mentioned . Creativity speaks dear Judy!
Wish you the best of luck

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

I'd been missing your poetry. This is another wonderful piece. I love the narrator constantly teasing more of these fresh and so pleasurable stories. Reading this is like lying in a perfect ray of sun on an 80 degree day. It injects the beauty of nature into the reader.

Love it more than I can say, it reminds me of Watership Down, one of my all time favorite books.

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

for the very supportive comments
love judy
xxx
.

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

When is a tale not a tale?

When it is a promise of a tale to be told.
This is so "Samuel Clemens" (just read Tom Sawyer again) meets Grimm's Fairy Tales (reading them right now... see my workshop entry later) and I love it.
I'm making it my habit in this workshop not to concern myself overmuch with the poetry as much as story content and form.
I would have to say it is a trick of language. An Introduction, per se. So I hope the other stories are here and around as I catch up.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

for the support
and so very glad to see that this workshop is still going..
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Yes, we are going, but in a lull for now while the workshop leader recoups. We have just held back to back workshops within this workshop. One on Dramatic Verse and another that was a collaborative workshop writing a story in verse. It was madness.
Where have you been and I hope it was a good place. Are you going to be around a little? That would be an excellent development.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

they would no doubt have been useful
i'm back for the moment, although my muses are only whispering - it's hard to hear them most of the time
but i do have a little of my zest for poetry back, so hopefully i'll enjoy the critiquing again

love judy xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

they would no doubt have been useful
i'm back for the moment, although my muses are only whispering - it's hard to hear them most of the time
but i do have a little of my zest for poetry back, so hopefully i'll enjoy the critiquing again

love judy xxx

ps - i have no idea why this comment doubled up

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
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