Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Aftermath
Waves break
Sun sets
Life continues
I walk the shore
amidst a mist of strangers
pilgrims
seeking....
creating our own heavens
our own hells
And as I cling to
the fragility
of a lost time and place
the setting sun burns the sea to silver
and ages grief into sorrow
.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
jane210660
Mon, 2016-11-21 06:23
Initially, this reminded me
Initially, this reminded me of Joe's poem Pallor. Not in a plagiaristic sort of way, but there is a hint of horizons and looking back and inevitability.
The more I read and re read, the similarity seems to evaporate and I find there is a sense I can't quite grasp, just like a misty apparition that dances in front of me and yet when I catch it up, it changes shape and form and remains those few steps ahead.
Lovely poem. Jx
------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
judyanne
Mon, 2016-11-21 09:07
Thank you Jane
for the visit and very kind comment
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Esker
Mon, 2016-11-21 17:18
The edge
Our lake Nippissing faces west
the gov wharf..the islands are little
dashes dots that hover on their
mercurial planes
seem floating
wavering
In summer and winter
windy days dusk shines
through their green
arms arriving
rare I go there now
but when I do
its for letting go
of all things
past and present
I like the despair
and tranquility
and want to mix
not to be alone
I do this too
their are others
their so I dont feel
alone
Your line from
Despair to sorrow
is magnificent
Thank U!
Mr Esker!
judyanne
Mon, 2016-11-21 19:41
Hi Steve
Thanks for the visit and great comment
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
lovedly
Mon, 2016-11-21 21:40
they say they will read me
only after judy's edit
now since you have come on stage
will you kindly
most waffle has been piffilled
only surfs exist
come and see
Keith Logan
Tue, 2016-11-22 11:46
No rhyme
but there is still a rhythm to be felt, even though the line breaks try to disguise it. I very much enjoyed reading this and hope I have fully grasped the meaning.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
lovedly
Sat, 2017-01-14 13:58
awaiting
has Judy from Down Under
gone under
she doesn't now,
read us
NO WONDER !
Esker
Sat, 2017-01-14 14:16
lovedly..shame...
i shall boycott u....
i wonder if ur not working for
someone..
as management i only worked
close...
i never worked for anyone beneath
shaming is the shits
if \i quit commenting on \u
\\no wonder...
judy is a good poet..
who writes poetry
not whining vitrole that
deserves to be a blog
for attention..no u
but keep this kind
of thing up
and i should think
less highly of u
mr \poet...
irrascable mr wolf
judyanne
Sat, 2017-03-04 08:44
Thanks everybody
for the read and comments
All appreciated
Sorry for the tardy ta, been unwell...
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)