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Drawn into a darkness of peace
An overwhelming sense of caution
There is in the mind much despair
But the heart is searching for healing

Not knowing where it comes from
This demon inside is drowning hope
While taking away the breath of joy
Feeling smothered in a pit of gloom

How does one overcome the unknown
The shadow of darkness as a friend
That has created chaos, a gift with a smile
Sinking deeper than comes escape

Physical pain being a reality
The screams that are being screamed inside
No one looks in the eyes to hear

Drink to escape
Drink to escape

Still the day comes once again
It starts over and over and over.............

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


To the knawing despair of depression.'Drawn into a darkness of peace' a wonderful lyrical line.

'Betty' aka Ellie

Thank you so much Betty.

author comment

Manic depressive, recovering alcoholic.
Yeah, I'm there.
This is the first of your poems I have read, so I feel rather remiss being one of the semi honchos around here.
So... welcome to NeoPoet and I hope you stick around to write "timeless" poetry as your profile suggests. If you can't figure out how to do so here, you will not figure it out. Of course I'm biased, but I also know it's true.

About your poem. I'm a traditionalist (as everyone here will whine to you) and meter with rhyme is my bread and butter. However, I also read a lot of blank verse (here and elsewhere) that wipes me out. Your language skills are strong and the imagery you present is almost overwhelming (that's a good thing... don't change). Rhyme, of course, is not necessary (sigh), but a consistent meter is. I think (I could be wrong) you likely write from a very natural point of view. Meaning, you don't necessarily work the meter in your poetry, but write what sounds good to your ear. Fortunately, your instincts from experience are good. However, sometimes a line will roll differently than what you intend. You hear yourself, but a reader hears a combination of you and themselves. I had no difficulty in seeing how you adapted a line to an uneven rhythm that it would sound good, but the fact that my mind would take the time to do so detracts from your art.

I have always felt that if a poet wants to produce art, he/she must understand mechanics first... then break them. Does that make sense? As I said, your instincts are good and I don't know your education, but the important thing is that my observation is based cold; based on nothing but the poem itself (okay, and your picture... I always read the profile).
This was food for thought. You'll find I'm one of the long winded and brutal ones here, but it's because I get a kick out of poets improving (no matter how good they are when they come).
I hope you do too and hope I haven't ticked you off.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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No you did not tick me off. I see you as someone who I can learn from and that is greatly appreciated. I dropped out of school in the 9Th grade. Then went back and got my GED. I then went on to study drug and alcohol counseling as I am recovering so a lot of my poetry is written from that standpoint. Thank you so much for your insight, Oh I use a lot of spell check, dictionary, and grammar check. :))

author comment

That you can portray life so well is good, and I read all comments and see that you as most poets have been on a rough journey.
Now we talk of these things, and it will help all that read, and understand your words.
Keep writing about how your feelings run and the help you give.
Also have a look around and let your thoughts seek out the beauty of all things, sometimes it is hard to see with the eyes so practice seeing the inside of beauty, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thank you so much for your kind words. It is nice when you can be amongst your own, and know that you are not only not alone, but you are not the only one. That is what makes the healing all the more sweet.

author comment

We can overcome most things that we meet, this is where we can walk and talk of many things without any worries,
I look forward to some lovely works from you,
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thank you so much

author comment

good feasibility , i like this piece for diversity, idea drift between milleu

Thank you for your feedback

author comment
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