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Do You See Me Now

I didn’t have to let you know who I truly am
I can pretend I don’t care if you laugh at me
I hate being alone is something I don’t admit
See I pretend to keep my face like stone
Truly I search day and night to be happy
My pretty invisible mask lets me hide
From the world keeping all my secrets
It is always the same this feeling
That way there is not regret
But today I make this clear
And I say I am here
Right over here
I AM HERE
Do you see me now

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

and welcome to Neopoet! I very much enjoyed and identified with your unique poem!

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Thank you

author comment

what you are
and right here ...
Don't ever fear
we all ,
some at least desire to over ride
don't ever them fear
and then you too will be
a Neopoets
poet dear..

loved

Thank you so much. It took a lot to write this poem and amitt somethings

author comment

I would have liked this written like a prose poem with more flow of language than poetry can get away with. were you trying to make the shape of the poem, because some do that very efficiently, and an ending as if you were down a mouse hole, is fun. But you want to be seen, how so many people live their lives not being seen, specially not seen for what they are, so sad. People don't take the trouble to really know another person well, bother them I say.

Love to you bossladyone(!)
Ann of Norway

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

I did think about the shape of the poem. The reason being is because that is the way it feels when you are not seen or heard. Like you are in a mouse hole.
I could of use the language to describe that, but to me the words and the visual of the poem spoke louder. Thank you for your kind words. I am so grateful that you understood what I was trying to say and show.

author comment

Not sure if you meant this one to be an outline of a head as in Concrete forms of poetry but it near went that way and sounded a good pieced "I see you" bosslady, when I was working in Africa, my Zulu friends would use this instead of saying "Hello" it was their way of greeting.
I use to think it meant such a lot, and would use it myself when we met.
Take care young Boss lots more will see you now,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thank you so much. It does mean a lot to greet someone with the words I see you.

author comment

But you do need to learn a bit of poetic craft.
Check out the Workshops and the Workshop archives
http://www.neopoet.com/workshop/find/archive

You have the heart and a strong voice, I very much look forward to more of your work.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Thank you I will look at the workshps

author comment
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