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Depressmas

Depressmas

I live alone since she left
Nothing replaces what I had
Always had a glint in her eye
Christmas is a time to be sad

I moved away to start again
But nothing helps me to forget
Upon her face always a smile
Christmas, a day full of regret

Without fail it comes every year
And I'm supposed to give good cheer
A lousy tree and pathetic lights
A dark winter full of freezing nights

Without fail it comes each year
And I'm forced to hold back my tear
No white snow, just wind and rain
A day when I endure the pain

I stand and stare out to sea
Trying to blank out this day
A dull pain is behind my eyes
My Christmas is filled with grey

I stare into my broken mirror
And my reflection is not clear
Across my face I bear a scar
I wish Christmas would disappear

© 2009 hoodedstranger.com

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Comments

very depressing this write,
it hit the spot just right.
This year I'll spend it by myself
my girl is on
the otherside of the world
so instead of cheers
I say to all
you can go right
to hell
ba-mum-bug

excellent write my brother of the Dark!
Eddie.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Eddie (fellow dark brother)

you know me, always wanting to be different, so here is my dark Christmas piece.

I am sorry you'll be by yourself this year and I almost feel guilty that my piece will sum up your Christmas.

I do like your 'go right to hell' comment.

Thanks for reading and do try to have a great time my friend.

Thanks again for your recent help and suggestions to 'Parasite'.

kind regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

no problem it was fun, but i did a dark and light battle with Rett last year I believe, it's on the old site, Iwill ask Rett if he has it. sure we can do one but who will be the light.
Always Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Eddie,

I'd like to read your co-write with Rett if you manage to locate it.

Who will be the light?...we'll have a candle on the table as we write!

Lol!

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

A good change to have it pointed out that for many Christmas is depressing. I have a few alternate ideas that you can consider:
l-6 add me before to
l-8 try :Christmas, a day filled with regret
l-11 replace and with a comma
l-16 trade when for in which
l-20 try : My Christmases are filled with gray
l-30 wish Stan would leave my poem alone................stan

Stan,

glad you appreciated the piece and noted that Christmas isn't always the best time of the year for everybody.

Thanks for the suggestions, gonna take a closer look at those tomorrow, but a quick glance shows your suggestions will tighten up the original version.

Suggestion to L30 is perfect! Lol!

I always look forward to your comments and suggestions and sometimes you are right!

Do have a wonderful Christmas, whatever you are doing and have a great 2011,

kindest regards

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Stan,

have made various changes in line with some of your suggestions.

many thanks for your ideas,

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

hood I love this one dark and depressing
it's easy to understand, reads well,
" A lousy tree and pathetic lights
a dark winter full of freezing nights"
that line really gets to grips with the heart
of the write ,,,,,,,zigs,

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

Zigs,

I wrote this one last year, but I wasn't happy with it. Today, out of the blue I decided to have another look at it and made some changes that made it better from the original version (although far from perfect)

It isn't a complicated piece, just an alternative look at Christmas from a less happier side.

I see you liked the chorus section - that was all I had when I first wrote it and over the year I added verses.

Dark and depressing...yup that's the idea with this one.

Thanks as always for your time reading and commenting, much appreciated.

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

hi , so you wrote this from just the chorus lines cool
still read well , the title fits so well on this one I feel ,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

Zigs,

I did write it from the chorus, but you know me, I had to give it a title first...can't ever write anything without a title, be it just a working title or the final one,

cheers mate,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

has already said the things I might say about the tweaks you might make, so I will just say; "I will try to find the joy, in seeing others happy." Bah, Humbug! It's not working. ~ Gee

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Gee,

thanks for reading my friend.

Bah Humbug! Lol!

Do have a great Xmas my friend and a poetry filled 2011

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Shirl,

I think Christmas brings back memories of better times...it is like a moment each year where we reflect upon our lives...and it can't be good and positive all the time.

Neopoet has had quite a few 'happy' Christmas poems posted, so I thought I should balance it out a little.

Thanks for dropping by and have yourself and wonderful Christmas.

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Dan,

Having been privy to this one before posting, you know what I think of it, which is that it is really good. I understand why you kept the title, but it still bothers me a little.

But a great job as usual.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Lou,

I have made some tweaks to this one since you first read it. The first line is changed and some other minor bits.

I love the title!

Thanks for reading mate, and have a great Xmas,

kindest regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

I know that you like the title lol

Just thought i'd give you my opinion whether you want it or or not lmao.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

This piece reminds me of the lyrics to an old Melanie song:

In the hour when the sun shines shines bright
On my head in the city where I am alone,
I never think of that once told story
When two flowers almost were one.
But what to do?
I still think in the morning of you.

When darkness hovers and city lights take over
I am blinded to the words "I am alone".
It's useless to cry for a star in the sky,
For the city lights tell me there's none.
But what to do?
I still cry in the morning for you.

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/in-the-hour-lyrics-melanie.html ]

When my head touches my pillow I am too weary
To dare dream that I am alone.
Now I lay myself down to sleep,
I pray the Lord his soul to keep is my song.
But what to do?
I still dream in the morning for you.
What to do?
I still cry in the morning for you.

I just wanted to share this with you, as it is one of my favorites. Depressing... I know...

Great piece!

love, Cat

p.s.
I especially liked the lines that ziggy pointed out.

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Cat,

I know this song!...haven't heard it in ages...I must have it somewhere.

It is depressing as is my Xmas song...Xmas is so overrated and causes so much stress to people...especially when nobody knows why we celebrate it anymore and it isn't a Christian holiday...they stole the Xmas idea!!

I will celebrate 'Hoodymas' instead...only black trees with black lights, black wrapping paper and depressing 'depressmas' songs will be chanted in a Satanic/Gothic manner...should be a great day.

Lol!

happy Yule to you & Steve.

love,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Rosina,

I knew you'd understand the 'depressmas' message better than most...unfortunately!

Dark and sad indeed...I can't do 'happy' and 'nice' poems.

I know what you will doing on Christmas day and I will be thinking of you.

Stay warm next to Zak, and do your best to get through the day.

Warm wishes,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Rosina,

as a one-off never to be repeated Christmas special, I will let you use the same title for your poem...but only if I can post your poem on my website as it is superb and I would like to have it there. I will explain it is your poem and that you wrote it.

Or you could use the title: ChristMess.

You can hate me in a kidding kind of way!

kindest regards and have a good day,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Rosina,

you don't need to steal it, you can use it for free.

Why don't you post both as a blog, since we have both already posted the poems individually already.

You get more comments than I do, so you should post tem under your profile.

Kindest regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

I really enjoyed this poem. It's very, very rare that I enjoy a poem that rhymes, but you managed to keep a smooth rhythm and meter throughout the whole poem and it turned out great! I'm sorry that you had these sorts of feelings during the holidays - I've been there before and it sucks!

However, I'm glad to see I'm not the only person who writes depressing poetry. A few years ago my husband mentioned that most of my poetry was depressing, and I almost stopped writing. (I figured the world was full enough of depressing stuff that it didn't need me adding to it). But I didn't, thanks to Bukowski. ;-)

It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

BH,

thanks for the stars!...I am pleased you enjoyed this one.

I tend to rhyme certain sections as they normally become lyrics and rhyme does help to give a song a hook, unless we have a really good melody which is enough for the hook without careful rhyming sequences.

I don't celebrate Christmas anyway, since it is a fake holiday. I celebrate Yule...which is original and not stolen by any other religion for their money making schemes.

I find it difficult to write 'happier' words, so most of mine end up with some level of darkness and depression in them. Luckily my band doesn't make cheap pop songs, we are considered to be in the electro/darkwave genre...which suits my writing perfectly.

Please post your depressing work, I for one would love to read them and i know of many others here at Neopoet who prefer the more depressing writes.

Kindest regards and thanks for taking time to read and comment,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

of many solitary Christmases I have had. It was different this year, of course with a little child of my own. But then again, I relate well to depressmass as I have been there myself. And sometimes the bite is still there. I am very pleased to have enjoyed this expressive poem. All the best to you this freshly started year. CB

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

CB,

thanks for reading and commenting my friend. I am so pleased your Christmas experience wasn't like this one.

I seem to know more people who are alone at Christmas than ones who are with family...such a sad time for many.

I wish you and yours a wonderfully peaceful and healthy new year,

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

The only way I got out of that was to build family around myself... not the easiest thing to do. And of course it helped to stretch the parameters of the definition of conventional family. May the new year bring a freshness to you and you dreams. It's good to be reading you again as well. Cheerio. CB

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

Amalzamani,

Depressmas Syndrome - I like that!

Christmas shopping is always so hectic, just to have a couple of days holiday. I just don't get it.

Materialism is a big issue and I can't see it ever changing.

Actually this piece was written last year, this year's Christmas was much better for me.

Thanks for dropping by and commenting.

I wish you peace and happiness throughout 2011,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

I can sympathise fully with this write. Holidays as of about 6 or 7 years ago have been a little less cheerful, as I too lost someone special. I have many fond memories of family gatherings round Christmas with her and my Uncle's presence, and it pains me greatly to know that I'll never experience that with her again. The rawness and the emotion definitely flow in this piece, Dan, and I'm sorry that you experienced such pain.

~ Jess K
"A parakeet is one who takes care of you until the real keet arrives.." - George Carlin http://www.centranthus.blogspot.com

Dear Jess,

It seems the Christmas period is the one that brings back the sad memories, when supposedly we should be celebrating...but how can you celebrate when certain people are missing?

I am so sorry that you also feel a loss at this time...I don't find it gets any better with time despite what 'they' tell us.

I guess I can at least say that the loss I have felt has given me the motivation to hit the subject head on and write a piece about it. There is nothing better from a write if you have truly experienced it yourself...however hard it is.

Thanks for reading and commenting. I have said this before but your comments have been truly missed by me and I am so pleased you have found time to comment on some of mine. You are my 'no bullshit' lady!...don't ever change.

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment
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