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Voice

Burning words drenched through
soaked with fuel
spiked with poison my
venomous soul
once trapped
suffocated
banished within
my serpents tongue
Forked and forced into a
curl
so tight
breathing life of fume
and dancing flame
beating as one with rage
fighting to
unfurl
like the torrential force
of the coming storm
with rapid erosion
a crushing wave
streaks of lightning
crack open the dark
with piranha teeth
these words spiral
spin, bite and
swirl
escaping my mouth with
a grimace that snarls
the sparks shower like
a welders torch
relentless
they singe, they scream
boil and
scorch
these my words
my beacon, my moment
My voice

© 2011 hoodedstranger.com

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Just trying something different - this is a potential, fast spoken intro or outro to a song...haven't decided yet - HS
Editing stage: 

Comments

Rosi,

thanks for the comment. I am not sure quite where these words came from as I was quite relaxed when I wrote them. It didn't turn out how I originally intended.

I wanted to have the poem build up and then just as I was going to release the words...silence exploded from my mouth. The idea being that it was going to be a spoken ending to a song and the song would finished immediately as I said the "silence exploded..." and the song would stop dead.

However, it is how you see it now, but may well change if and when I find the right set of lyrics to become the song to accompany this.

I had some help from Ziggy too with the lines as I was using way too many words and he cut out some to make it more punchy!

Glad you enjoyed it!

kind regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Zigs is well and still writing. I haven't seen him on Neo much but he posts on HS and is as good as ever.

I'll try to hold back my true venom...for a rainy day!

LOL!

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Yes get it out of your system it is naturally healthy to do this you know. On the other hand if you carry a serpent in your pocket every day I am going to have to have you leave it at the door before you visit to my porch LMAO...I need to write one of these again and it reminds me of the Eddy Styx series with Golden Gal. I forgot who my alter ego maniacal is. Hmmm I am going to have to check with Cat to see is she remembers his or was it a her name.

He been bad so he been in closet for some time maybe it is time to take him out and give him a whipping of words he needs (notice how I say it is a He) hmmm tells me much here:)

Wink be safe be courteous and love one another. Or try to at least

Blessings to you

Mona Mia
xoxo

I actually wrote this is a calm state, it just came out on the page.

I won't lower the tone with any jokes about having a snake in my pocket because that would be childish...LOL!

You need to paint your porch it is looking shabby! LOL!

I look forward to you releasing your alter ego...I can't recall his name either.

Be courteous to others?...what fun is that?

I guess this is a tough weekend with the anniversary, but stay strong and chat soon,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

You have to empty out those venom once in a while too much will poison your system :0 nothing chickless about snakes.. hope all is fine and no paint I can hardly sit here and type friend

Ciao bella maria:)

Lonnie,

cheers mate. It is still undergoing change but I am happy with the foundations so far,

Thanks for dropping by,

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Chrys,

are you challenging me to turn this into a lyric?

This was supposed to be an outro to a song, but if you want lyrics...lyrics you shall have!

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

It is really hard to pick favorite lines, as they are all so good. Today I like:

like the torrential force
of the coming storm
with rapid erosion
a crushing wave

Always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Cat,

thanks for the positive vibe - I am always unsure when I post a poem rather than lyrics, so it is good to have positive comments from great poets,

cheers,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

As you know I have already given you my opinion on this one, but I would just like to say I still think it is a powerful piece, and I don't feel it needs to be changed in any way.

Good stuff.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Lou,

yup I do know your opinions on this one already, but I appreciate you telling me all over again because it helps with my ego!

LOL!

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Hi Dan, long time since I've read your work, long time since I've been around...

Very nice piece, I found myself reading faster and faster.. with a quick deceleration at the end.
I then read your note about using this in a song and re-read it. Let us know when its recorded:)

Are you still in a band? I forgot the name...

_____________
If I had it my way I'd be up on a mountain. Playing my guitar,
until my calluses grew calluses, my arse a chair and my smile into a halo

Bloodtsone,

good to see you my friend and yes it has been too long!

I haven't done much else with this one yet, but you got it right about being a fast piece with a slow conclusion.

I am trying to pen a lyrics where this one can be slotted in at the end as an outro. I'll keep you posted.

Yes, still in the band and happily making the album...it is taking time, but we are in no rush...we want it to be right.

www.systemasynthetica.net

kind regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment
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