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Outsider

Outsider

Wind violently screams and unsettles the calm
Invisible force powered by a façade of brutality
He steps away from his dream back into reality

Hail thrashes from the sky onto the frozen road
Ocean of grey erodes against the wall of security
He drifts into the void towards unknown futurity

Hooded stranger
Man with no name
Cloaked outsider
Man with no face

Shadowed stranger
Man with no name
Disguised rider
Man with no face

Lightning streaks and illuminates the empty sky
Electric currents tear apart the Heavens vitality
He moves into the storm and disappears silently

Snow rapidly falls and settles across the land
Blanket of white fuelled by a blizzard of impurity
He wanders into the night and fades into obscurity

No name, no face
Hooded
Then gone
Erased

No name, no face
Cloaked
Then gone
No trace

© 2011 hoodedstranger.com

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Potential song lyric for a concept album regarding solitude and being alone by choice - HS
Editing stage: 

Comments

I love this one, it has a consistent rhythm, and l enjoyed the theme. I like the idea of being individual, and living under the radar.

I really like the imagery, fav verses are,

Wind violently screams and unsettles the calm
Invisible force powered by a façade of brutality
He steps away from his dream back into reality

And

Lightning streaks and illuminates the empty sky
Electric currents tear apart the Heavens vitality
He moves into the storm and disappears silently

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Lou,

it is written to be a lyric so I was careful with the consistent rhythm. Glad you liked the theme...I needed a character and just worked with my pen-name. Seemed to work, hopefully not in a too egotistic way!

Thanks for reading and commenting,

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

This one gives off a feeling of wanting to be away from things in life that cause pain, and to be free to be who we really are. That's a feeling I experience often.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Lou,

for me it is a persistent craving to be away...and I don't know what pushes those emotions for me.

Oh well, at least I am not the only one...you can join my band of freaks! LOL!

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Rosina,

my pen-name has always been HS and I guess I want to be like him...so it is part a true account of me and combined with the fantasy of Hooded Stranger.

I find it difficult to separate the real me from HS, maybe I am becoming more like him. I crave solitude, and force myself to live out in the open, but my desire is to be alone...that may sound sad, but I can't deny my feelings.

Thanks for reading and commenting,

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Hooded Stranger is copyrighted...hands off, get your own name!...LOL!

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

This is a raw work but one that dispels your myth and character. I like how you incorporated YOU in this write/ song. Mystical I call it.. That is you, a man with the name that dosen't play the game.

Blessings to you friend
Mona

Mona,

I don't try to play any game...I always turn left when the sign says turn right...I like to be different, even it that separates me from the "norm".

Raw...yes it is raw and painful to when I read it back to myself.

Thanks for dropping by,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

I like the way you use the hail in the beginning for his entrance and then he leave a blank of snow in the end as he leaves. The coldness in his heart for the world is expressed so well. I love the crack of lighting as if opening a door for him to disappear through. For me these two stanza's are so indicative of who the protagonist is and his self imposed loneliness:

"Lightning streaks and illuminates the empty sky
Electric currents tear apart the Heavens vitality
He moves into the storm and disappears silently

Snow rapidly falls and settles across the land
Blanket of white fuelled by a blizzard of impurity
He wanders into the night and fades into obscurity"

Very well done indeed, one of my favorites of yours!
BRAVO!!
Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Eddie,

good to see you on my page my friend.

You've pretty much covered the stanza's as they were intended to be read.

When I first wrote it I only had the chorus line...I then took the dog for a walk in the wind and rain and I wrote the rest in my head and had to rush home to write it down!

Glad you like it, I think I am convinced it is a good lyric to record now - cheers mate,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Snow rapidly falls and settles across the land
Blanket of white fuelled by a blizzard of impurity
He wanders into the night and fades into obscurity

No name, no face
Hooded
Then gone
Erased

No name, no face
Cloaked
Then gone
No trace

I can completly relate to this piece, you do it justice. Thanks for another little peek into your soul.

Always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Cat,

many thanks for reading and commenting...I am hoping to use this in a small concept album about solitude and being alone. I am pleased with this one and believe it may be ready for the recording process now.

Be sure to check out:

http://new.neopoet.com/node/observer-hs-inspired-dan

Eddie wrote a poem about my lyric but from his perspective - he did a damn fine job!

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

I just came back to read your excellent work again!

love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I just read eddie's poem. Great work!

love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Cat,

Eddie did good didn't he?

Glad you read it, and also glad you read my again!! LOL!

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

I really really enjoyed this write. Though i hope you do not feel this way in real life.
I like the dark side of it, has mystery.

Nichole

Nichole,

I crave solitude. So yes this the way i feel most of the time.

I am writing an album of songs based on solitude from an individuals viewpoint. The daily anguish of having to be with people, and do things that i don't want to do, just to be considered one of the crowd.

Glad you enjoyed it,

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

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