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Cliché (Clichés Workshop Poem)
I've changed
And I can't find my way
Back to the person I used to be
I have fallen out of love with you
What more can I say
I know it's a cliché
But it really isn't you
It's me
I'm lost
And I can't find the path
Back to the life I used to have
(chorus)
My head is confused and I no longer see you
You are just a blurred image lost in the hue
I've drifted away and severed our line
I no longer need you
I no longer want you as mine
(chorus)
My mind is distorted and I no longer feel you
This pull to be alone has never felt so true
I've floated away and snapped our spine
No longer am I yours
And no longer are you mine
I've faltered
And I've forgotten my way
Back to the person I used to be
I have fallen out of love with you
What else can I say
I know it's a cliché
But it's me not you
Believe me
I'm broken
And I've forgotten the path
Back to the life I used to have
© 2011 hoodedstranger.com
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Poem/lyric about one cliché only - the cliché = It's not you, it's me (although I changed the order of the words slightly) - HS
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Author information
Region & Country
West England
Favorite Poets
Sylvia Plath (poet), Caitlin Mattison/Eddy Styx (poet 'candlewitch'), Enda Collins (poet 'ziggy'), Martin Gore (lyricist for Depeche Mode), Neil Tennant (lyricist for Pet Shop Boys), Stefan Großmann (lyricist for Absurd Minds), Lemmy Kilmister (lyricist for Motörhead), Nathan Reiner (lyricist for Third Realm), Wayne Hussey (lyricist for The Mission), Leonard Cohen (lyricist), Tom Shear (lyricist for Assemblage 23), Clint Carney (lyricist for System Syn & Fake), Ronan Harris (lyricist for VNV Nation), Aaron Lewis (lyricist for Staind), Jason Charles Miller (lyricist for Godhead), Torben Wendt (lyricist for Diorama), Adrian Hates (lyricist for Diary Of Dreams)
Comments
Hooded Stranger
Fri, 2011-07-01 08:35
Chrys
Chrys,
I do try to not to use cliches, but this one just wrote itself...with a cliche in it!
I am not sure this one is going to be recorded, it isn't a favourite of mine to be honest.
That said, if I get enough suggestions to make it better, I may decide to give it the recording attention.
regards,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
author commentlou
Thu, 2011-06-30 23:29
Dan
The eternal love cliche 'its not you its me'. Well handled, but a softer tone to your lyrics than usual. I like the way you use the word cliche within the lyrics, its a very effective falling out of love song. I imagine it sounding like a ballad of sorts, with a lighter more melodic accompaniment.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Hooded Stranger
Fri, 2011-07-01 08:37
Lou
Lou,
believe it or not I do sometimes try to write with less darkness. This is one of those. The cliche is used a lot, but it actually felt right to use it and call it a cliche in the lyric itself.
It isn't one of my favourites but it does fit the workshop programme.
regards,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
author commentHooded Stranger
Fri, 2011-07-01 14:24
Ian
stop ya counting you!...you're just trying to lead people away from the best poem in the workshop with your derogatory comments...LOL!!
This is just as poor as my other two, this cliche workshop isn't bringing out my best poetry at all!
Oh come on "believe me" isn't a cliche...you're just trying to find fault on purpose...lmao!
regards you nasty little man!!
HS
ps. only kidding, you're not little! LOL!
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
author commentCandlewitch
Fri, 2011-07-01 11:46
Workshop: Cliches and Their Uses
Dear Dan,
I should not have been surprised, knowing you, that you would write lyrics! It is so YOU! Very impressive but I felt like there should have been more... Or is that my greedy side showing through?
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Hooded Stranger
Fri, 2011-07-01 14:28
Cat
Dear cat,
you know me too well, if I can use a lyric, then I will...it's all I know!!
You want more!!...ok Mrs, I'll see what I can come up with you greedy girl!
LOL!
regards,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
author commentHooded Stranger
Fri, 2011-07-01 14:30
Ian
that's it, our friendship is over, you are using and abusing me and even my therapist can't help me now and as for the Samaritans...they have blocked my number, now leave me alone!
You do brighten up my day! LOL!
cheers mate,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
author commentHooded Stranger
Sat, 2011-07-02 06:06
Mr Y
Mr Y,
looks like you will have to watch the celebrations on the podium from the back of the crowd. I'll get JC to film it and then you can watch it all over and over. I don't think the champagne will reach you when I open it, with you being all sulky at the back of the crowd!
LOL!
SpecSavers...LOL!...my daughter-in-law works there...she can give you special losers rates!
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
author commentHooded Stranger
Sat, 2011-07-02 06:16
JayCee
Thanks for the positive comment - that will annoy Mr Yenti big time...LOL
As you noticed this isn't a favourite of mine, maybe it is the lack of darkness!
Thanks for the comment and rattling MR Y's cage...I see he has posted a comment about your comment already...LOL!
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
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