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Crimson of Fear
`
Invisible but not voiceless,
This fire within me burning;
Fueled by things long since done;
Uncertain it would continue
And most certainly would one day end.
Resounding vermillion trains,
Travelling across frontier lands;
That began by fits and starts.
But this is just the beginning,
And most certainly is not the end.
Smearing the silence with my thoughts:
Scarlet ink on blue paper;
Conversing along the lines;
Uncertain it would continue,
And most certainly would one day end.
Slumbering souls awaken,
Speaking to us on paper;
Streaking sheets with stunning stains.
But this is not the beginning,
And most certainly is not the end.
`
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
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Comments
Candlewitch
Wed, 2010-12-15 09:46
Hello,
"Smearing the silence with my thoughts:
Scarlet ink on blue paper;
Conversing along the lines;
Uncertain it would continue,
And most certainly would one day end."
The red ink on blue paper reminds me of blood in the veins. A powerful write, indeed!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
crypticbard
Thu, 2010-12-16 07:23
Cat! Thanks
So glad that you have harnessed the power rumbling beneath the lines... I am grateful for your time and interaction. Cheers, CB
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'write on! let these words free.'
author commentmand
Thu, 2010-12-16 07:44
I love your imagery!
Your words are amazing! I took this to be about a writter drawing from past experience and worrying that the flow of thought would dry up. But I think there is more to it than that.
Brilliant imagery.
Love Mand xxxxxx
crypticbard
Thu, 2010-12-16 07:59
Indeed, mand!
The thought crossed my mind that I may just be writing about writer's block or atrophy.... The outward aim was to reflect in a somewhat neutral fashion the colours of revolution throughout the centuries. But I am quite happy that the poem itself allows for various interpretations and approaches, which to me is a far more valuable feature of any poem. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your kind words. You are ever appreciated. CB
__________________________________________________
'write on! let these words free.'
author commentmand
Thu, 2010-12-16 08:11
I see now!
Sorry I should have realised by the title alone! Makes it even more impressive.
Love Mand xxxxxx
crypticbard
Thu, 2010-12-16 08:25
No need for apologies mand :-)
It is just as well that there are various valid readings of any given poem. It is my hope that our readers will trust their gut and heart as they read and go with that. Else it would be a very boring world. Much obliged to you, CB
__________________________________________________
'write on! let these words free.'
author commentKailashana2
Thu, 2010-12-16 08:28
Hi CB,
Hi CB,
The last line of each stanza reminds me of a train,off in the distance, coming nearer.
I so like this poem.
~A
Eduardo Cruz
Thu, 2010-12-16 08:33
CB
this stanza speaks to me of pass stories that enlight us to the struggles with freedom, which kind I'm not sure, but to me it's the freedom to voice your own opinion.
"Slumbering souls awaken,
Speaking to us on paper;
Streaking sheets with stunning stains.
But this is not the beginning,
And most certainly is not the end."
I enjoyed trying to figure out where you were going, the truth is it took a few reads, Still I think I see other things in this, between the lines?
Bravisimo!!
Always Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
crypticbard
Wed, 2011-03-09 03:56
Thank you Eddie
However tardy this gratitude is expressed.
Quite miss your activity around the site.
__________________________________________________
'write on! let these words free.'
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