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words

As a projectile on its trajectory
the very kernel of a heart’s story
unfurls and beckons to those who care
allows for both sides, their minds declare
each line, each verse, each accentuated pause
all bring together, joint longing; their inimitable cause

Editing stage: 

Comments

take away from this is, the poet writing to connect with the reader and saying that not everyone will be interested in the same story, but that those who are should find some solace in the world that they DO connect. The rhyme was short and terse and the rhythm a bit ragged, but I got the message. ~ Geezer.
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Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

So glad you got the 'raggedness' as if it could have been brought on by irregular breathing... that's what we were aiming at. :-)

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'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

in fact extraordinarily well crafted but I'm gonna have to stamp my foot petulantly and ask how dare you name a poem "Words"?

Really, that is beyond pretentious.
Call it almost anything else and I would love it.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

you are correct in that, the title was not a complete sell out from the inception... but it shall find its name in due time... :-)

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

I LIKE the title. It gives the reader the hint needed for understanding that it is the words hurled which are the heart of this poem.....I think lol.....stan

thank you, Stan. Now you know the reason I settled with that title. In classic poetry, we are taught not to give everything away, specially not in the title; then take the reader/listener on a 'journey' and let that unveil a trail of meaning and discovery. An incredible aspiration, no doubt; and probably the ramp to the 'high road' of poetry. Perhaps that still is part of the criteria for major works of poetry. But I would not know since I haven't been current in the contemporary scene for several seasons now. Have a pleasant day. :-)

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

Still don't like it though.

Have you read my novel called "Words"? Here is an excerpt-

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cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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