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Breath of Fresh-Air
I couldn't fathom to imagine......What's on your mind?
Imagining sights that dreams can't put into proper images
I'ma product unfinished, Like a story without a plot or premise
Yet I'm stuck in the theater trying to desipher the ending
Without a conscious thought..... Listen
EXHALE: words which flow thru air within carbon dioxide
INHALE= perplexed thoughts which are next to be exiled
Even though polar opposite,the combination so dominant
It's only right
So positive my polarity, yet those nay sayers surrounding me
My whole life
So when I launch my art like darts thru circles of critism
There's one point which will always be prominent &
Above negativity which is my nemisis
It's not really my expertise leaving non-believers beyond belief
So I'll end this personally thanking anyone who listens.............
These words are from a man who considers himself
A REAL LIFE SUPERSTITION
Peace
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Thank you for reading
Editing stage:
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Comments
Ian.T
Tue, 2012-06-26 09:48
eN eN
Your whirl around words flying out, try to hold them as a purpose and watch the Spelling unless it is to make a point bad words bad poetry, this theme can be expanded as a chest when breathing but not in so many words, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Numero Negative...
Sun, 2012-07-01 14:37
Thank You for your comment
Sorry about the spelling, I was in a rush and didn't get a chance to spell check.But this was something like a lyrical rant.Sometimes I just let the words go....I'm taking a writing class now so I'm working on my structure.My style can be a bit berzerk sometimes, I'm trying to contain the animal poet inside.Yet he's off the leash often.....
Peace
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