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Ahab 2014

Ahab 2014

Mental archipelagoes protect my disbelief
pristine island fortresses of mind
surrounded by odd currents where dark creatures prowl a reef
that is the one and only of its kind

blasphemous iniquities have driven me insane
and fabricated lies I can’t control
delivered by euphoric mutants as a mad refrain
that echos through the canyons of my soul

un-pardoned sins like common pins protruding from my face
signify that dignity is lost
with nothing left to masquerade my eminent disgrace
and not one coin to help repay the cost

battered by the shattered bones of those I have betrayed
welts and bruises gather on my hide
to form into a bold tattoo symbolically displayed
as evidence that cannot be denied

the strain of pain and pestilence is glowing in my eyes
and little can relieve its vicious grip
a morbid tale of killer whale that ends without surprise
defiant captain sinking with his ship

C. Lon R. Bruso

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 


Merry Christmas to all of my fans here at NeoPoet. I hope you all get what you so richly deserve!

author comment

Lonnie if your looking for fans go to a baseball or football match, here at Neopoet we're all fellow poets. Merry Xmas Lonnie. Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Perhaps you are right, "Fan" was the wrong word for me to use, and I do apologize. However, even had I been tactful enough to use the word "Friend", would it make the situation any different? It seems that after my 6+ years here at Neo, I really have neither, and that is not saying a whole lot for all my "Fellow" poets, now is it?

author comment

You should get your work published - it's certainly good enough! I haven't read a poem of yours that isn't worthy of a book.

What do you think?

Love Mand xxx

Thank you for your confidence in me, and I have already self-published two books of poetry.

author comment

A very good picture of Ahab, a tormented soul taken to the extreme.
You gave the picture true colours, and as usual your write was spot on.
Have a lovely peaceful Holiday young traveller,
Our best thoughts, Ian, Anne, and the Children

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Merry Christmas to you and yours also!

author comment

I agree with comments of Ian and Mand.

Merry Christmas to you, members of your family, friends and well wishers and A Happy New Year 2015 just around. Wishing you all the best of Health, Happiness, Peace and Prosperity of all kinds.


raj (sublime_ocean)

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