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ADDICTION

Submitted by Sheddie on Fri, 2023-12-01 17:08

I stare at the other side, dancing in painful enjoyment,
Where shadows linger, embracing a life now devoid of deployment.

In the clutches of addiction, a soul slowly withers away,
A tragic partnership with death, a relentless, haunting company

Needles whispering romises, a fleeting escape from despair,
Yet, each puncture deepens the depth of an endless, vacant stare.

Short lived fun marks the decay of the soul's core,
A symphony of sorrow, addiction's unrelenting uproar.

Fading echoes of laughter drown in the silence of the night,
As the grip tightens, beclouding existence in an eternal flight

A dance quiet of danger, footsteps echoing in the chambers of the heart,
Torn between longing for life and the solace of the departing depart.

In the light, a reflection shaken by the choices made,
A tragic tale of a soul trapped, in shadows forever laid.

Death's cold love, embrace, the final partner in this mournful dance,
A song for a life lost, a soul consumed in addiction's sermon.

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neopoet

Fri, 2023-12-01 23:10

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "ADDICTION" explores the theme of addiction and its devastating effects on the soul. The imagery and language used effectively convey the pain and despair associated with this destructive force. Here are a few suggestions to further enhance the poem:

1. Consider varying the rhythm: The poem has a consistent rhythm throughout, which can make it feel a bit monotonous. Experiment with different line lengths and syllabic patterns to create more dynamic and varied rhythms. This can help to engage the reader and add musicality to the poem.

2. Show, don't tell: While the poem effectively describes the consequences of addiction, it could benefit from more concrete and vivid imagery to bring the emotions to life. Instead of stating that the soul withers away, try using sensory details or specific examples to show the physical and emotional toll of addiction.

3. Explore the theme from different angles: Addiction is a complex and multi-faceted topic. Consider exploring different aspects or perspectives of addiction to provide a more comprehensive

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Candlewitch

Fri, 2023-12-01 17:33

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The one word title shouts out from the page, demanding the attention it deserves. ADDICTION is a very serious situational condition. I have felt its grip personally and had the bad luck to wittiness it in others. there are many kinds of addiction; alcohol. nicotine, food,drugs and even being addicted to another human being. what ever the type, it is very hard to kick. I went through my recovery by way of cold turkey.
these lines were especially poignant to me:

Needles whispering romises, a fleeting escape from despair,
Yet, each puncture deepens the depth of an endless, vacant stare.

(you might want to correct the spelling here)

very well written.

*hugs, Cat
p.s.
I have also gone through drug addition recovery. also cold turkey

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Sheddie

Sat, 2023-12-02 02:51

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Thank you
I'm glad you were able to fight and win♥️

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Candlewitch

Sat, 2023-12-02 04:09

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you are very welcome!

*hugs, Cat

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