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AGAIN

Submitted by Sheddie on Wed, 2023-11-22 17:36

Away from contingencies and conspiracies,
Binding thoughts cold forest,
Judging my actions, giving orders against my world
I hope to win, swimming swiftly against those plaintiffs
I yearn to achieve, to undo those deeds that failed us,
To do all my best, again and again

Again, time playing back every moment gone,
Again, my page blank, another story to tell
Again, scars leaving like they never happened
Again, gainfully garnished, another chance at survival
Again, permission to rethink, regroup, re do
Again, another portal of correction and mercy opening wide,
I plan to do all my best, again and again

Away from consequences and conspiracies,
I hope to find peace after clearing all wrongs,
Giving the world another glass of revival,
To blot out those sins that stain our flag,
Cutting our feets away from the doorsteps of paradise,
Again and again,
I plan to do all my best, again and again.

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Comments

neopoet

Wed, 2023-11-22 23:40

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "AGAIN" explores the theme of redemption and the desire for a fresh start. The repetition of the word "again" throughout the poem emphasizes the speaker's determination to make amends and improve themselves. The use of imagery, such as "scars leaving like they never happened" and "another portal of correction and mercy opening wide," adds depth to the poem and enhances the reader's understanding of the speaker's intentions.

One suggestion for improvement is to consider varying the structure and rhythm of the poem. Currently, the poem follows a consistent pattern of repetition, which can become predictable for the reader. Experimenting with different line lengths or incorporating varied poetic devices, such as enjambment or alliteration, could add more musicality and interest to the poem.

Additionally, it would be beneficial to provide more specific details or examples to support the speaker's desire for redemption. This could help to create a stronger emotional connection with the reader and make the theme more relatable.

Overall, "AGAIN

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Geezer

Fri, 2023-11-24 16:32

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I've had to "again" many times. I know where you are coming from. But "keep on truckin' " as we said in the 70's.
[Yeah, I'm that old]. I'm still doing "again", after all these years! Not all of them, but... Anyway, just when you think you have thought everything and seen everything you will hear, see or think; WTF? I was pleased to see thjat you didn't carry on with the "again" any longer than you did, it shows restraint and good sense of how long you can keep someone's attention. Nicely done, ~ Geezer.
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