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BLOOD/SOIL

Submitted by Sheddie on Sun, 2023-11-26 15:56

On this land we tread, hope, believe,
Building years in hardwork, effervescence
Regimes envisaging dreams, skies pregnant with our desires to achieve,
No hiatus, for time never leaves our presence,
On this land, space and time,
The universe filling the missing gap, sending messages,
Through our veins, soiled in blood

We are beings birthed from actions of the past,
Each seed go, yielding a different harvest, unique tools,
So much effort we put to be free, to live without questions while we blast,
One voice thinks aloud, the other mute, playing the fool,
What really matters is how we reached here,
To be adorned by curses we never wanted

We strive for impeccability, to rule without a king,
Many books and opinions to whisper out heart's desires
We wish for much and more, ending up without nothing,
Maybe our stories will be different if we were made different,
At the end, we are only humans,
Subjected to laws above our heads,
In the end we are only humans, nothing but blood and soil.

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Sun, 2023-11-26 22:00

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "BLOOD/SOIL" explores themes of identity, history, and the human condition. The use of imagery and metaphors adds depth to the poem's message. However, there are a few areas where the poem could be strengthened.

First, consider refining the structure and flow of the poem. While the poem has a consistent rhythm, some lines feel disjointed or lack clarity. For example, in the line "No hiatus, for time never leaves our presence," the meaning could be made clearer by rephrasing it. Additionally, some lines could benefit from more precise word choices to enhance the overall impact of the poem.

Second, the poem touches on the idea of striving for freedom and the desire to rule without a king. To further develop this theme, consider expanding on the concept and exploring the consequences or challenges of such aspirations. This would add depth and complexity to the poem's exploration of human nature and desires.

Lastly, the poem concludes with the line "In the end we

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