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20 Twenty 20

Death speaks to the lips
Of an impure vision
Its crooked spinal stature
Lifts its eyes
Above his whispered name

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Last few words: 
I hate naming stuff, so its a mockery of sorts...
Editing stage: 


for some its a card swipe
a simple digital structure
as basic as the spring lock
tumbler system
magnetic pull and push

I can tell whats in my boxes
and plastic bins by the names
the folds on the corners
its placements
the vague translucent

like memories
my notepads in scrabble
just dates
but I know the shape
of the jumble to what
was ongoing that day

I like the title very much

Lifting the eyes above its name
like a prayer
the Pure madness
or pure direction
pushed into action

I love the movies of anti heroes
and the troubled biblical times
leaders like David

Ive read tons on Cults and
met those in packs
dangerous and prowling
intelligence off the charts

we begin to think we know
whats going on in the mind
of mankind
when we just have a map

we are not tube train trolley

like the line
"its crooked spinal stature"

the use of stature suggest
tall and straight and narrow
the percieved notion of society
and its principles its ideologies

how we run out myths
and whispered

I ived with superstition
amongst the strong of
these peoples
speaking hushed names
and their priests and magic
women and men
purifying houses
blessing items
on mission runs

modern and old school
looks are complete deception

this is a great mockery

Thank You!

I've heard the expression but not sure in what context?

I liked the very powerful images,
but it leaves me feeling cheated, there is not enough to it to fully engage my emotions or intellect. More a first stanza of an unfinished poem than something that is enough to stand alone.

(Frenchf.. 20 20 vision is perfect vision but not sure if this is what's meant.)

For educating me Ross

Ok, 20 means how many words in the poem, i
I hate titles, and it is short but thats all that happened...Look for more madness!

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