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T V O T K
The Valley of the Kings; sleeps
Below the moons blind eye
Within its mask of stars
Stone steps decend
Beneath the sandstorm
Amist the tide of centuries
Temple carvings beckon the night
And dance between
Twilights grasp
Swirling ocean of sand
Unfurls its innumeral golden veil
Sheathing and unsheathing
The Valley of the Kings
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Race_9togo
Tue, 2013-07-16 22:29
Poem is good,
Had to think about the title. Not bad.
I don't really have a criticism. This is timeless and evocative.
I like a lot.
Keep writing.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
loved
Tue, 2013-07-16 23:46
I have to think
only if you had read me
distinct
loved
Roscoe Lane
Wed, 2013-07-17 02:49
I like this,
I like this, and get a very distinct picture as i read. Regards Roscoe...
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
Ian.T
Wed, 2013-07-17 03:12
Club
TVOTK's I saw the bones of the Valley but lost the feelings that should go with this ancient place where everything would have happened from birth to death in many ways.
Just me but would have loved more feelings in there,
Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Seren
Wed, 2013-07-17 08:31
Ello ello
Nice to see you around again, I really loved the poem I can find nothing to crit
always a pleasure to read your poetry
love JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
club special
Tue, 2013-07-23 19:11
Thanx
High praise for my stuff, thanx
More to come...
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