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Rancour

Rancour
Bleak
I feel it
Do you?
I value sunsets and sunrises
mountains,
red rocks
and the souls in the eyes of animals.

Yet, rancour, bleak.
We have got better
we no longer hang someone
for the theft of a loaf of bread.

But not good enough,
not by a long way

To stay alive
to have a reason to have children

we must be better.

It seems simple to me
(with an IQ of 180+)
That competition is obsolete
co-operation and balance are survival.

Disagree.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Except for that line of 180 IQ. I enjoyed the poem. For me, emotional intelligence (EQ) is more important. Science is great but if we don't know how to use it productively, well look at the world without rose-coloured glasses. And deal with one another without someone else having to sort it all out.

Cowards are not productive and shouldn't reproduce.

~A

we all know those tests were defined for white western culture people.
Still, 180+, even by those terms. means something. I can beat them at their own games. One of my favourite sayings
"tell 'em, fuckem, nah, tell 'em nothing"
I'm sure you understand.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I am not sure if you can encompass my thorough dislike of most of human society whilst adoring life and beauty. Is it such a paradox? I think not. Someone said real genius is reconciling paradox.
Let's try

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Shot acknowledged. I did not intend to be condescending, but if you read my comment again, without taking umbrage, I would value your opinion.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

though have finally admitted, with the help of a mirror, I am not one.

Apart fro the aforementioned Peter Pan Syndrome.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Kinda reminds me of how I reply when someone asks me "How's the world treating you?" I tell them world is treating me fine, it's people who give me hell lol. I think the IQ 180 is superfluous, but other than that,I don't see any change needed in poem. But I'm no free verse expert either................stan

but, hey, I'm not generally acknowledged for my subtlety.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I like the thought of 180 being a flat-line.... on a learning curve.

~A

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