This poem speaks to me of all I have lost through a bohemian lifestyle of short term relationships.

Actually I thank you for it.

I can't spot any structural flaws it is beautifully and compassionately written.

i've ruminated on this for quite a while ...
i think it's quite wonderful

the first 2 stanzas speak of the past, yet
to me, there seems to be a mix of tenses in a couple of spots

rather than woffle on, i'll write how i read it ...

Beyond instances of younger life,
before the aches of tired bones
and aging flesh,
before raising growing children
conspired to trick us
into thinking we were old ...............are ~were
we came together
where breeze-kissed pines
marched up steep slopes of golden sand..............march ~marched
from sunlit inland sea,
and in the hollow of the dunes
slipped from our clothes
to stop relentless time,
enjoying each other's pleasure
and release.

Beyond the dreams of decades' life,
before long hours of work
and days of schooling,
before bill-paying in the evening
conspired to sink us............................conspires ~conspired
into knowing we were tired.....................are ~were
we came together..................................come ~came
in the place where quilted bed.......................this ~the /that
impatiently awaited our passion..........................awaits ~awaited
behind locked bedroom door,
slipped from our clothes.........................slip ~slipped
and started a precious interlude.......................start ~started
of long and practised pleasure
and release.

for me, those stanzas in past tense, are a natural prelude
to the third stanza, where, after the remeniscence, he
is brought back to his present, and the hope it holds

i also toyed with the thought of perhaps breaking down
the stanzas ...it would definitley work
but ...the more i read this, the more the 3 stanzas seem
right for it ...each stanza is a complete picture ...a complete
moment of memory ...the reader gets a sense of the images
playing in the author's mind

hard at times, to do love and all things connected, and not have it
read mushy, or at best, a little stale
this write is nowhere near either of those things
it's so gracefully written
it's tender
warm
loving

and the last stanza is quite beautiful

the progression of thought and emotion is
so smoothly done
i enjoyed reading every word of this

in fact, i savoured it

very, very lovely

cheers
p

a late thought

s 2, line 12...perhaps
started ~ began?

as you, i have no problem whatsoever with love poetry,
just BAD love poetry

and your poem is Good love poetry

as for the breaking up of stanzas...go with your gut
when in doubt ...don't

i am sick to death of reading the same old same old
in terms of love poems

however ...when i come across a well written, intelligent,
different kind of love poem ...well, no other subject in verse
can speak to me in the same way

cheers
p

we came together
where breeze-kissed pines
march up steep slopes of golden sand
from sunlit inland sea,
and in the hollow of the dunes
slipped from our clothes
to stop relentless time,
enjoying each other's pleasure
and release.

I want to find this place... is there a map or instructions on how to get there? LOL! The only thing I would change is the title.

always, Cat