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blessed by angels twice

I was unmasked by insecurity
when first faced with your purity
now aware that wind swept lullaby's
cradled promise untold, always
nurtured never scold.

with anxious delegation watching
you both unfold, kissing your little
fingers and toes, now standing on
your own two feet first memories of
this still so sweet, this I remember
so time will never delete.

precious years pass as the clock
tick tock ticks, you've grown so tall
from small finding it hard to stand
aside when steps lead to strides
taking five to summarise.

my pride, my flesh such joy
no one else compares eternally
snared a love divided shared.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
this was written for my two daughters Laura 12 , Rachel 11,
Editing stage: 

Comments

My friend this is beautiful poem, your girls are lucky to have such a caring father, I can only critique your title, as i'm sure you mean angels. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

cheers for the comment , big oops I can't believe I got that wrong
In a rush as always lol , fixed now thank you my kids are my everything
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

hi your happy face is always welcome to my corner
I am trilled you think this is OK, this left me with a tear also
and thank you for the thumbs up on this as I wanted to get
it right for obvious reasons , they are my everything cheers have
a good weekend ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs xx

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Created with love and great depth of feeling

Love Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

hi there thank you for the comment
my kids are everything to me ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

WOw I was not expecting a comment like that thank you my dear
I wrote this mts ago and was looking through my list of one's I
have not posted yet thank you ,,,,,,,,,zigs x

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Ziggy,

some say I shouldn't use certain words when commenting...but this is 'beautiful'.

It is dufficult to critique something when clearly so close to your heart. I know how dear your girls are to you and how badly you miss them.

I really liked the rhyming sequence you've added. Rhyme can cheapen a poem, but not in this case.

I will follow in line with Jayne with an applause and a bow.

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

yes what some say lol I don't give a hoot what ,,,,,,,,lol
thank you hood folk are welcome to crit the words but
not the theme, I miss the kids when I don't see them but
I do see them every other day , cheers for stopping bye ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

With this line:

cradled promise untold, always
nurtured never scold.

should "nurtured" be "nurture" to go along with "scold"
if you use nurtured then should "scold" be "scolded"?

That was the only rough spot for me. Otherwise the poem is lovely! I can see the fatherly pride in this. My favorite lines are the same as Shirl's.

love, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

thank you for the comment, I guess I'll go with
the latter change I never saw that so ty for that
I will change it cheers ,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment
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