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Anapest Exercise Example(Wes's WS)
He has fooled/ his belov/ed along/ with the rest/ of the world
by pretend/-ing to die/ to escape/ from his e/-nemies' wrath
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
wesley snow
Sat, 2017-05-06 14:56
At first reading this didn't work for me.
However, subsequent readings seemed to indicate it does. I'm not sure what twigs me about it. It is good Anapest.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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jane210660
Sun, 2017-05-07 00:22
I don't think it sits quite
I don't think it sits quite right because the phrasing is incorrect. Ignoring whether it's anapest or not,
'He evades from the hands of the law' should read -
' He evades the hand of the law'
You evade something or someone, not evade from them. It would also be the hand of the law, although strictly, the metaphor refers to the arm of the law.
Jx
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weirdelf
Mon, 2017-07-03 13:26
Jess the pedantic raises his smug head
the arm of the law is metonymy, not metaphor.
But yes, I agree, we need to read and learn the 'ear' of the various meters without having to stretch and deform out words to meet them.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
jane210660
Mon, 2017-07-03 13:46
I stand corrected
oh smug one.
Jxx
------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
alidzain
Sun, 2017-05-07 10:55
HI Wes and Jane
I've done some tweaking. What do you think?
Alid