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Anapest Exercise Example(Wes's WS)

He has fooled/ his belov/ed along/ with the rest/ of the world  

by pretend/-ing to die/ to escape/ from his e/-nemies' wrath

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

However, subsequent readings seemed to indicate it does. I'm not sure what twigs me about it. It is good Anapest.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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I don't think it sits quite right because the phrasing is incorrect. Ignoring whether it's anapest or not,
'He evades from the hands of the law' should read -
' He evades the hand of the law'
You evade something or someone, not evade from them. It would also be the hand of the law, although strictly, the metaphor refers to the arm of the law.
Jx

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the arm of the law is metonymy, not metaphor.

But yes, I agree, we need to read and learn the 'ear' of the various meters without having to stretch and deform out words to meet them.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

oh smug one.
Jxx

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I've done some tweaking. What do you think?

Alid

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