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Unforgiven

Pinned face down against the floor,
my pleas answered with senseless violence.
I tried to rise and reach for the door,
only to be dragged down by mortal demons.

They ripped my clothes apart and laid me bare,
shredding my dignity into a thousand pieces.
toying with me, making me gasp for air
while my courage vanished as I shed futile tears

I realized then that I had been a fool,
no true friends would want to cause me harm.
All those times, they "protected" me at school,
when in truth, they were deceiving me.

I screamed with every thrust they made,
impaling my innocence, peeling away my sanity.
Their mocking laughter echoed in my head,
the imprints marked me in my memory.

When I'd lost my voice and they left me,
my soul continued to scream with boiling rage.
My life thrown into disharmony
as hatred and pain locked my heart in a cage.

Over the years, I have crawled back to sanity,
picking up the pieces of the core of my being
but I'll never forget the nights shaded in cruelty
nor can I forgive all the hurt.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This is a poem about my dark past, back when I was in primary school. It made me feel too "dirty" for anyone to love for sometime that even after I have learnt that is not really true, I have grown accustomed of being single in my life.
Editing stage: 

Comments

emotions expressed here - over an event that has obviously cast a shadow over your life.
I'm glad that you have shared it, that in itself somehow chases demons away.
A good write, if not a disturbing read.
Jx

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Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

I really hope this can help abit. Sometimes we just can't pretend bad things don't happen to us.

Alid

author comment

I'm glad you shared this. Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

you never wrote this. Not because it isn't good, but because no one deserves that kind of treatment.
I don't see anything to critique and I don't think that there is. ~ Gee.
.

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I need to write it to let it go or it will eat me up inside out. That's the only reason I do this. Yeah, I agree no one deserves to be treated that way.

Alid

author comment
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