Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A Soliquy :The Triumphant Spy

My unbroken resolve has killed their patience.
They've shed my blood with their fists and blades,
only to be disappointed by my stubborn silence
which threw all of them into a fit of rage.

I've leaked their secrets to the Allied Forces
and I've sabotaged their airplanes.
I've struck them from within, reducing their numbers
and I've become a real pain.

I smiled defiantly, taunting them to hit me,
knowing that they would not win the war,
after their weaknesses have been revealed
and they've missed the chance to score.

Even if death comes to me,
I'll embrace it like a friend
as my heart laughed with joy,
laughing till the end.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I never did know what a Soliloquy was, but I always loved the sound of the word ever since I first heard it! I looked it up to help me appreciate your poem more.

I'm not sure how well this one fits the idea of "the act of speaking one's thoughts aloud when by oneself or regardless of any hearers" (Google's definition). I feel like there is a difference between saying what you think no matter who is listening and taunting. Taunting feels more direct and aggressive, and that's what this poem does. It also doesn't seem like behavior that is befitting of a spy. They are stealthy by nature.

Maybe I am just reading too much into the definitions. If so, don't mind me.

Keep writing,
Kelsey

PS: Typo in the title, it should be "Soliloquy"

Advocates Coordinator

Critique, don't comment.

To see our learning resources, click the "Curated Resources" link under the Resources tab in the top menu bar.

www.kelsey-burroughs.weebly.com

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.