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WORDS OF A HEALER (Inspired by Bette Midler's "THE ROSE")
Some people say
you will never
find your way
to achieve your dreams.
Some people say
you can never
fly higher
when you spread your wings.
Some people say,
that love has passed by
and will never
return to stay.
But I say
for those who believe,
a miracle
can be achieved.
When the heart
feels so empty,
you're torn apart
when dreams decease
and the night,
it feels so lonely
as all hopes
have seemed to cease.
Just remember
dark clouds will never
linger here
forever and ever.
I'll be there
when you need me
to heal your wounds
so reach to me.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
chevyvent
Wed, 2018-12-19 15:58
The title of the poem alone captivates the reader
your poem throws me right into a nostalgia for it. The title of the poem alone captivates the reader and by the time one reaches the end of your beautiful verse, one feels the prairie in one's pocket. Simple down-to-earth images of "turkey", "rusty plumes" and "that other earth" in the poet's mind are not only powerful, but add a sense of humor, including that of carrying the earth in your pocket, which is part of your mindset. In fact, the poem does not only seed the earth inside the poet's mind, but, indeed, in the minds of his readership. Which is what a great poem does. The poet's exceptional craftsman is attributable to the subtlety, simplicity and imagery which make the verse flow and speak for itself.
Great poem! Nicely penned
Mario Vitale
alidzain
Wed, 2018-12-19 17:31
Thanks Mario
for the read and the comment. In truth this piece is written as a gift to a friend. Then I came to thinking, why not share it with my friends here as well? So here it is.
Khalid
Rula
Thu, 2018-12-20 01:35
Hello Khalid
I think you've well achieved your mission and reached your friend with these words.
Well expressed!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
alidzain
Thu, 2018-12-20 02:02
Salam, Rula.
Glad to know that. Thanks for the visit, the read and the comment.
Khalid
scribbler
Fri, 2018-12-21 17:56
Hi Alid
These words do well in following that movie which I've seen many times
alidzain
Fri, 2018-12-21 20:49
Thanks, Stan
Glad you liked it.
Khalid
Eumolpus
Fri, 2018-12-21 20:23
a very lovely song lyric
It has all the best elements of good lyric- transparency, rhyme, good meter, and the subject is what is the most popular theme of song lyrics. It's good enough to be a Grammy Winner with the right music and singer. Hopefully a protege of Bette Midler's.
Like most good lyrics, as a poem it is a bit too saccharine for me to be enjoyed.
...
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
alidzain
Fri, 2018-12-21 20:56
Hi Eumolpus
I don't consider it a song lyric because it was inspired by the original song and it pales in comparison to it. I try to stay true to the tune but I changed most of the words so that there's still some originality in it. Truly my writing skills are still too amatuer, compared to Jayne's, Stan's, Rula's and many others here.
They are the ones who inspire me as well. Without them, I don't think I'll still be writing today.
Khalid
alidzain
Sat, 2018-12-22 19:08
Thanks, Mark
for the visit, read and comment.
Khalid
raj
Sun, 2018-12-23 16:07
Hi Alid
your humane nature is profoundly expressed in these verses...
be good...stay good in your journey of life..
...............................
raj (sublime_ocean)
alidzain
Sun, 2018-12-23 18:57
Hi raj
Thanks for the visit, the read and the comment.
Khalid