Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
for Max
it has hit me,
you died your first death
as a deep breath exhaled
never to return
memory is stirred
and the waters stain
a mountain of tears
rise up to brim
but are detained
the epitome of
a Gentle Giant
hands that could crush
held a feather light touch
quietly without words
your eyes said so much
blue orbs of innocence
calming all they moved
with empathy
you forgave,
even those
who trespassed
against you
looking back
I cannot recall
a skerrick of malice
or a drop of anger
a mortal man
friend to all
uncle to others
father of two
a grandfather of six
a son of parents
long gone
for you,
there will be no second death
your name will fall from lips
memories will never pale
and now a tear
is unrestrained
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Last few words:
I lost my uncle yesterday it was a shock to us all, this is the first of two poems I have written, the second is yet to be finished
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Ian.T
Thu, 2013-11-28 17:34
Jayne
A loving tribute to a real Man, there are people in this world and the next, that I would love to have met, just by your tribute to him he was one of those.
Give my unconditional love to all those that he held close to him and those that loved him,
Yours with much respect Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Seren
Fri, 2013-11-29 00:00
Ian
He was a beautiful human being and will be missed
Thank you for your kind words
Love always JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
loved
Thu, 2013-11-28 19:14
So beautifully composed maintaining your composure sure enough
he deserved it
At this hour or moment of grief ...
I always say
know the one departed
for the good deeds
and be happy
he walked alongside
with thee
lovely stanza
with empathy
you forgave,
even those
who trespassed
against you
how I wish
I could also imbibe this
loved
Seren
Fri, 2013-11-29 00:04
Loved
I am still thinking on this thank you for your condolances
And thank you for your thoughts and kind words
Love JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
loved
Fri, 2013-11-29 12:22
but who was Max
can u share
But I think may be ....
loved
loved
Fri, 2013-11-29 12:28
when in melancholy the heart explodes like a volcano
when in melancholy
the heart explodes
like a volcano
such words emanate
with love mingled with sorrow
who knows of a tomorrow
life simply
ebbs
away
day after day
till comes another
happier day
.....''''''the epitome of
a Gentle Giant
hands that could crush
held a feather light touch
loved
Geezer
Fri, 2013-11-29 17:33
I could think of...
no greater tribute to a being, than to be eulogized with such beautiful words.
"Skerrick" must be an Aussie term or maybe a colloquialism, because I couldn't find it in my dictionary.
Maybe [dollop] would do as well? My condolences, to you and yours, ~ Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Fri, 2013-11-29 22:32
Helo Jayne
To be loved enough to have poetry written about you at your death says a lot about your uncle. The raw emotion here does not detract from this warm tribute. I am sorry for your loss.................stan