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Beautiful you. My best poetry ever on Neopoets walls Thanks all Minor edit
Just beautiful
I have learned a lesson
as time rolls by
some come and flatter
others come to shatter,
never mind the ones who come
simply to ploy
their idiocy to deploy …
remember only those
who smile
as some day
they too shall pass away
then the reality of life shall surface
we all will also pass
as we all, including me
are passers by
read this message
with love
Grateful
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Rula
Wed, 2012-10-31 00:57
sparkle with wisdom
a great reminder dear loved
If this was mine, (i wish i can write such a piece) I would consider the repetition of
the word pass,pass by,pass away,passers in S2 (but it is only me).
Thanks for sharing.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
loved
Wed, 2012-10-31 13:24
thanks for showing
the way the river ought to flow
and your lovely words
you ought to know
can never be ignored
by poets few
and
one am I
how you wish
you knew..
now you do...
thank you...
loved
Ian.T
Wed, 2012-10-31 03:54
Loved
Only the Good Samaritan is truth, where they will stop or pause to see and not pass you by.
I have journeyed long young Bard and many have I seen, and spoken to.
I found out that I had borrowed a body all those years ago, that was taught English, with a broad Wiltshire accent.
I was thinking with that voice yesterday, and if you really feel, to find that voice, then you begin to wonder is it just a pattern.
Tiny, tiny electrical actions that turn the world for me to my original language, English, these are the same electronic actions that talk Spanish to some and a multitude of languages throughout the world.
Poetry a language of its own, but in many tongues.
Our understanding of what you write is not easy as we are individual, each to his/her own.
Your poetry is another way of talking to many, it is a flowery way, streaked with the ways of old, you just have to remember that not all understand the way your poetry talks.
That we, You and me, can write and read your words and understand all the others that read your words it is a lottery as to how many think and feel the way you do..
Be Patient with the world young Bard, that you have written should be good enough for you.
Take care young loved, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
loved
Tue, 2013-01-29 11:33
Our understanding of what you write is not easy as we are indivi
Our understanding of what you write is not easy as we are individual, each to his/her own.
Ian I'm sorry
for having over looked this ...
you have devoted so much time and energy
on a small bard like me
but I assure you
I am not as small
as perhaps you think
but I do take it as a compliment
as my thoughts on this site
I now ink
loved
Ian.T
Tue, 2013-01-29 18:56
Loved
We have a belief that you are as big as all your component parts, and that our Spirit courts infinity for eternity then we are all great..
Just a thought young Bard, so that you never think that I underestimate you in any way.
All Spirits are equal, it is as a watch that has stopped the sum of the parts are the same, it is just the movement is not the same, yet infinity bows to our being and the Great Spirit holds out a helping hand so that you can become equal..
There that is simply put lol, Loved all we have to do is believe in our own selves and those two friends Eternity and Infinity will hold hands..
Yours as always Ian.T
PS:- I call you young Bard not a small one, those were your words LOL
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
judyanne
Wed, 2012-10-31 10:25
hi loved
hi loved
this is nice. a little over-loved (overdone in loved style - (((smile))))
I have offered my edits in bold – I have bracketed those parts I suggest to delete
all imo
love judy
xxx
Just beautiful
I have learned a lesson (of mine)
as time rolls by
some come and flatter
others come to shatter,
never mind the ones who come
simply to ploy
their idiocy to deploy …
remember only those
who (pass by smiling) smile (cos there are too many ‘pass away’s as is)
as some day
they too shall pass away
then the reality of life shall surface
we all will also pass (away)
as we all, including me
are passers by
(read this message and with love
and do say
time and tide do not wait
for anyone any way….) – cliché
or, if you insist you might like to finish in loved style with the line
read this message (and) with love
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
loved
Wed, 2012-10-31 05:17
thank you
I knew too it was a bit jarry
so now all I wish
many will love it
as you three
Judy
and
two above do
need I say
thanks to you
loved
Ian.T
Wed, 2012-10-31 07:00
Loved Thank you
That you see us as we talk of your write is good enough for us..
Go well young Bard and have a lovely day, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
weirdelf
Wed, 2012-10-31 07:22
Sometimes you strike the perfect balance
of simple words, deep feeling, ingenuousness, a certain edginess and compassion.
You have here. Love this piece. It's also beautifully written freeform, incorporating form, craft and a feeling of spontaneity.
And good revisions.
Beautiful, my dear,
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
loved
Wed, 2012-10-31 07:59
thanks Jess
and its only sometimes ....
you said it right
How are you
hopefully overcome the shadows of evil
which by now are past!
loved
weirdelf
Wed, 2012-10-31 08:25
there were no shadows of evil
just deep, abiding grief,
you must allow me that.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
loved
Wed, 2012-10-31 13:20
but of course
Jess ,missed you
loved
Candlewitch
Wed, 2012-10-31 11:27
Oh, Loved...
Such lovely wisdom! I always knew you were capable of great things! Only one suggestion: I would remove (of mine) as it is already implied and the removal of those two words would give it a smoother more even flow. Yes... I like this one very much! It is one of my favorites of yours!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
judyanne
Wed, 2012-10-31 11:46
(of mine)
lol loved
i didn't see it was still there - brackets and all
:)
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
loved
Wed, 2012-10-31 13:26
I was so overwhelmed
at the leading poets comments
I became blind for a moment!
vanished it is...
loved
loved
Thu, 2012-11-01 00:08
your expectation of me is no surprise*
Such lovely wisdom! I always knew you were capable of great things!
*as Cat you are poetic worldly wise
and
I know when you fly by ,
the heavens seem to heave a sigh
how happy one can be
when on one's page
Cat's impressions
one can see
so loved as usual appreciates
thee ancient culture can't be forgotten
so do pardon me.
loved
Candlewitch
Thu, 2012-11-08 10:53
Dearest Loved,
*Hugs*
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
loved
Thu, 2012-11-08 11:38
okay okay
hugs hugs
thanks thanks
i was wondering
who
loved
Geremia
Wed, 2012-10-31 13:33
You shine, my friend
You shine, my friend
loved
Wed, 2012-10-31 13:56
I sure was missing you friend
hope you are better now
than then...
wish you get well soon
for all over here
twill be a boon
loved
loved
Thu, 2012-11-08 11:37
THANKS
once again
loved
loved
Thu, 2012-11-01 02:32
THIS ONE STAN
Hi Stan
the scribbler and dribbler
this one
the latest ...
all have put their stamp
except yet u and Esker
loved
scribbler
Wed, 2013-02-06 21:42
Hi Loved
Even a guy who is not much at free verse (me) can tell this is a good one. This says outright about all that I attempted to convey as subtext in "end of a day's walk". You succeeded and I didn't.
And now I think of all the folk
I've met along the way
those who hindered, those who helped
or tried to lead astray
....vs.
some come to shatter
some come to shatter
never mind the ones who come
simply to ploy
their idiocy to deploy.......................same coin, different sides...........................................stan
loved
Thu, 2013-02-07 09:22
you are the master
.you are the master of poetry
I am but a connoisseur
I can only appreciate the intent
if it brings out valuable content,
which you do as always..
so this summarizes my poem
better or worse are Einstein's creations
all is relative
this world and the universe
loved
lovedly
Sun, 2021-03-28 21:51
ANOTHER OF LOVED'S POEMS APPRCIATED BY NEO'S BEST FEW GONE TO RE
FEW GONE TO ETERNAL REST
TO THEM ALL
ALL THE BEST