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the once sweet one
OKAY I accept your challenge
next one will be on a house wife ...
one who is nagging, 55,
most of the while...
your tummy is so big
tis like you were ninth month in
your beard so grown
your shave a rascalian
gosh smelling foul teeth
use some sweetened toothpaste
wow your nose you pick
like a chameleon
what errors did I make
when I gave unto you,
youthful mistake
all gals make
I vow never to marry you,
if I return your way again
so get out of my sight
give me your purse
divorce I shan't give you
nothing could be worse
I shall deny you myself
that'll be the best award
you dare a woman man
now get lost
else the judge misery
does so lavishly reward
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Esker
Thu, 2014-06-19 11:26
authenticity
a grit in a shell
maketh nascent beauties
a stone in a shoe
makes the long legged limp
give a look
do you need lotion honey?
to stopeth the slung gunslinger
slope
a classic Loved
i think this is raw
and awesome...
loved
Thu, 2014-06-19 11:45
ensuing
Ensuing
from the most brilliant mind
I find
tears roll down mine
a poet is I now
must be
many dawns
since I rose to this level
your eyes scan openly
loved
Ian.T
Thu, 2014-06-19 14:15
Loved
Greatly bad of you but written well and one of your recent best want to see what Jess makes of this.
As to Steve coming in it is praise indeed, go well young Loved and write some more with this intense bearing,
Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
loved
Thu, 2014-06-19 22:28
thanks ....Jess hasn't walked
in my path
for quite a while
loved