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Fading Memories
for just a moment
our love existed
then like a mist
it was gone
the sight of red roses growing
in backyards
remind me of the time
we spent together
and seared petals
that bloomed to early
withered in the light
herbs thriving in drooping baskets
from rooftops
makes me think of you
prosperous veggies
outside in the backyard
make me smile
the thing I missed the most
is your strong shoulders
taking me in your arms
carrying my weaken body
into your palace
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Ian.T
Tue, 2012-06-26 10:41
Barbara
That someone is in so many things seems to point out that they are still there no matter how or why they are not physical..
Hold onto these things they will be needed later..
Loved the memories there in your eyes I have many of those also But!!!!!!
Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2012-06-27 00:40
Ian
thanks your comment are always so refreshing.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Candlewitch
Tue, 2012-06-26 10:50
Dear Barbara,
It sounds like a summer time love to me :)
In this line:
carrying my weaken body
should it be: carrying my {weakened} body?
a good read.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2012-06-27 00:39
You are so right
I will chsnge that now
Thanks for reading and the suggestions
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community