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In the Arms of Deep Mid-Winter

Submitted by emogothgirl on Wed, 2012-01-25 14:00

i hate your cold feet
you always did wear your socks to bed
and i never knew what it meant
until it was too late

and now you're gone.

something was always between us,
your arms were shirtsleeves
the top of your head
always had a hat on it
your lipstick and makeup
left a bad taste in my mouth
your neck was wrapped in a scarf
your shoulder was iced
and there was no good place to place a kiss.
your fingers were just numb
your touch couldn't feel
and always bitter sweet.

i guess i should have known

one thing about
winter lovers is
they're always cold.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
okay, now it's done. in study hall i had 2 words left and my computer hibernated. by the time i got another the bell rang and the bell is the ultimatum for all! lol anyway this one is "punny" as some might call it.
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

Esker

Wed, 2012-01-25 14:10

Esker's picture

a napkin marched along
owning the way
and I jumped when it darted
upon my feet
Curse you winter spirit
(these damn expensive shoes soaking wet)
I'll remember how we met
and curtly turn away

but not you winter come to ravage me
HERE have my chest my ears
and these fingers dear

I'll give a tear
inside
when life painful returns
to reside

HEY love your winter poetry
I stand at the bookstore
where they think Ive gone to shoplift
"can I help YOU"
"Yah got any books on serial killers"
(my cold blue stare down their long throats!!)
then after they shiver and leave I read the
poetry books..but its not NEOPOET

addictions are sweet
like the taste of icicles

this poem made me shiver

Thank You

Candlewitch

Wed, 2012-01-25 14:24

Candlewitch's picture
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I noticed you wrote "not done" in the few last words section. So I will leave off my comments and critique until you update. Most appealing so far...

always, Cat

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emogothgirl

Wed, 2012-01-25 17:55

emogothgirl's picture
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all updated!
thanks,
mag

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