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When Darkness Falls (March Contest)

i know that somewhere there is light
my house is dark, but have no fright,
i've nightlights up and down the hall
they shine though they are very small

the sky is black, no pinpricks bright
i know that somewhere there is light
there's really nowhere else to go
I try to keep my breathing slow

the wind is picking up i hear
perhaps the clouds will fin'lly clear
i know that somewhere there is light
though shadows loom both left and right

my fear may get the best of me
but even though i'm blind, i see,
behind some cloud, even at night,
i know that somewhere there is light.

Last few words: 
I wasn't sure how to chop up the word "finally" correctly in the second line of the third stanza. is that correct?
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

stresssed pronouncing of the word fin'ly gives this victorian plush, and you sing as the thrush very very beautiful . this write is impeccable cause of form, sound and lyrically.. very wonderful write i enjoyed it

Wow - All of you contestants are writing high standard poetry - this one is no exception - it's going to be difficult for the judges.

Good luck in the contest!

Love Mand xxx

There is always a light of hope at the end of the tunnel.
All we need is to track that light and there we are.
and the refrain, is just great!
Really like this one dear.
Wish you the best.

PS. Not so sure if finally chopped right. I am waiting with you to see what others should say. :)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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A lovely quatern and even though Rhyme is not an essential norm you have used the aabb sequence very nicely...a great read with poetic appeal...you are definitely a contender ..

best of luck...

raj (sublime_ocean)

i didn't expect so many kind words! thanks so much. i'm still not sure if i chopped finally right, but i suppose we shall see.

thanks again,

Mag

author comment

If you look "finally" up in the dictionary you will find it broken down into three syllables. However, if you listen to some unsuspecting guinea pig say the word you will find only two syllables.
These days I trust in natural reading habits and don't use contractions very much.
I would spell it normally believing it will be read with two syllables.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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I'm not at all acquainted with quatrain. So this reads near perfect to me. What do you think of my first ever attempt?

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The best way to handle "finally" is to not use it lol. Try Perhaps the clouds at last will clear. Good old K.I.S.S. principle. Good luck in contest.......stan

The dictionary divides it as 'FAHYN -l -ee' and I can't say 'l -ee' in two beats - to me it is one
I pronounce it with two ... unless it is used alone ... then I sometimes pronounce it in three as an exaggerated sigh - FAHYN a LEE

But the way you have it is perfectly ok too, if you want to definitely clarify it for the reader. And it is correctly done, with the apostrophe standing in for the missing letters

A really lovely write, with a great theme
Good rhythm and rhyme
Best of luck in the contest
Love judy
xxx
I

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

that fin'lly is the way to go, even though it looks kind of weird. i don't think there's any way to comfortably write it lol

thank you guys so much for the read and the comments, i really appreciate it. there's some super tough competition for this contest, i'm loving it!

thanks again,

Mag

author comment

Your "fin'ly" needs two "L"s. Fin'lly. Finally.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

done and done, thanks wes!

author comment

I couldn't help myself returning to this lovely piece of imagination and creativity, I wish there was an icon for a loud clap...the contest judge/s are really going to have it tough to adjudicate one winner...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

you guys are too nice to me! it means a lot raj, thank you.

Mag

author comment

I think it is awful and not really suitable for the March competition.
Because it may beat mine,
I really hate coming second all the time. LOL
Great write there young lady but please don't try so hard next time, lol
Yours as always Sparrow..
PS:- Sorry Mag's Sparrow got out, and was dancing on the keys again, yours, Ian xx

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Unconditional love to you all.
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Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

i am humbled by you all, once again. no worries sparrow, or was it ian? haha

Mag

author comment

Nice going there! WOW! Seems like we really have very strong participants for the March contest. Makes me wonder who is going to win. Anyway, you've done well in this piece. (applause!!)

Alid

I may be guessing...though I wouldn't bet...in my opinion you are the strongest contender to win the March Contest...we will know soon if I guessed right...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

thank you so much! we shall see!

Mag

author comment

Sorry Mag, my guess was wrong.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

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