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HOLDING HANDS
HOLDING HANDS
Boulder,
Head on my shoulder,
And though you’re turning colder,
We still keep holding hands…
Softly,
Kid, are you scared of me?
Know you cannot love me,
But could we still keep holding hands?
I had you April,
And May was too long…
Another man’s girl,
Another man’s song…
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If you'd like to hear the sung version simply click on the link below.
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=7847280
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Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
weirdelf
Thu, 2011-02-24 05:30
forget it
I don't want to comment.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Psyve
Thu, 2011-02-24 05:18
Jess,
Was there actually a comment here, for there to be a DIFFERENT one, should it not be about a daughter... which incidentally it isn't?
Cheers,
Psyve
weirdelf
Sat, 2011-02-26 03:33
nah, just a brain fart
that wafted away
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Psyve
Sat, 2011-02-26 03:12
Mean Bee,
Listened to the music on your link.
Very interesting but VERY....unusual!
I have PM'ed you on this separately.
Cheers,
PSyve
Psyve
Sat, 2011-02-26 03:14
Shirl,
Thank you for listening to this: I think you pretty much get it.
Appreciate your kind words, too.
Best,
Psyve
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-02-28 12:14
Dear Psyve,
Just reading the lyrics doesn't do the song justice. You HAVE to listen to them being sung and played. I like what you did with the increasing sound volume as the song progressed, it brought a chill. My favorite lines are the last:
I had you April,
And May was too long…
Another man’s girl,
Another man’s song…
I like the way the names could be either months or girls names or both. I have no helpful suggestions, only appreciation for the work.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Psyve
Mon, 2011-02-28 13:22
Cat,
Thank you for listening and commenting.
Appreciate it
Am pleased you liked this song.
Best,
Psyve
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