Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

NIGHTMARE IN RED

NIGHTMARE IN RED

And this girl with the blonde hair in the shiny red raincoat
He'd followed in silent but desperate chase,
Had never turned round once, but he hoped that she looked good:
For, somehow, he just had to look at her face...

Through roads and dark alleys, but always this dark night-
His mad world of nightmare had never known light-
And all was deep silence, except for the sound
Of her click-clacking high-heels, a-covering ground

She walked on in darkness, her gait was inviting
The shadow behind her, who was even now fighting
The beast that took over his mind and was tearing
His lips drawn back, over teeth he was baring...

Her walk turns to hurrying, he can tell by the sound,
As he reaches the corner and races around,
She hears him behind her, her heart starts to pound,
But her shoes have turned traitor- she falls to the ground...

He sees her there lying alone in the rain-
She sees him and scrambles to get up again!
He sees her blind terror - his heart starts to race,
And he knows that he just has to touch her face...

There are tears in his eyes, as he reaches out-
There's a smile on his face, but no sound from his mouth-
She sinks her teeth into the arm of his coat
As she feels his fingers encircle her throat...

Warm blood on his hands, and he looks down, amazed!
But sees only red through this terrible haze-
You bit me, you bitch ! he cries out in pain,
And smashes her face, again and again

And again and again and again and again
And again and again and again...

Newspaper screams: the toll rises to four
Young girls in a month, and how many more?

Cop on the case in an interview notes
That this guy has a thing for young blondes in raincoats...

 And the girl with the blonde hair in the shiny black raincoat
He'd followed in silent, but desperate chase,
Had never turned round once, but he hoped that she looked good-
For, somehow, he just had to look at her face...

 

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Pleased you liked this overall and felt the sense of the madness and fear...

Not sure what words you would want to shave off... certainly the "And" at the start of the first verse was very intentional... to indicate that this is an ongoing story... he's been there and done this before...

I wanted to further reinforce that sense of cyclic repetition of this violence with the last verse repeating the content of the first... except for the color of the girl's raincoat.

Thank you again for the read and for taking the time to comment.

Psyve

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.