Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Strange as a noun

Submitted by atorn on Tue, 2021-08-31 10:10

Strange is a place I’ve been
A place I’ve burned
A place I’ve lived
The name by which I am called
Strange is this life of mine
A friend who died
By his own hand
The feeling tightly wound and balled
Strange is coiled
Round my soul
It makes me sane
It makes me whole
Strange is a state of mind
A cool breeze
In a burning fire
A frame for all the portraits of my life
Strange is not a vision
Through these fingers runs
Broken indecision
Filtering out the rapid strife
Strange is coiled
Round my soul
It makes me sane
It makes me whole
Despite what I’ve been told
Strange is just a noun

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Obadiah Grey

Tue, 2021-08-31 11:48

Obadiah Grey's picture
Volunteer badge

Strangely, I thought this was great!

Obi.

scribbler

Wed, 2021-09-01 00:00

Volunteer badge

I would suggest putting stanza break just before each line starting with "strange". But the I'm a traditional type poet lol. Good to see you back

Geezer

Wed, 2021-09-01 10:05

Geezer's picture
Volunteer badge

with Stan, I think it would read a little easier if you had the breaks, but it does read alright without them. I like the premise that [Strange] can be a noun. [Or maybe should be]. Well written and the pace is such, as it sometimes is perceived as being
written in rhyme. Which I think is a sign of a well written poem. Nice ! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Gracy

Tue, 2021-09-07 15:19

Gracy's picture
Volunteer badge

Good poem, atom. I like the rhyme and think it would be fine as a song. Have you thought of that? Do you sing?
Yes, the line breaks would be a good idea. Strange certainly is a noun, depending on how you use it.
Enjoyed and will return, Gracy

*
*
*
"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.