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The Past Hisses Angry sounds

I am the battered shore

On which the hurricane pounds

The future roars an awkward tune

The past hisses angry sounds

The smoke through which I breathe

Kills me, each breath, each time

Angles seem off and twisted

Life refuses to accept the rhyme

I am aching and uncertain

Banging time on my brass drum

Celebrating each grand an elegant loss

And the storms yet to come

I am the battered shore

0n which the hurricane pounds

I roar in mute defiance

The past hisses angry sounds

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


Excellent work. I would have preferred to have read it in verses, but reading it aloud takes care of that. Succinct, powerful, very, very good.
Keep them coming.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

Thank you for taking the time to comment, they are always appreciated

author comment

which makes the piece so good! Your rhyme is simple but effective and you didn't drag it on and on. I think you forgot to end the word [an] with a [D] in the line; "Celebrating each grand an[d] elegant loss. All in all, a really good poem! ~ Geez.

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Thank you for the insights, yes I need to add a d lol

author comment

Thank you for the comments

author comment

I'm not going to even pretend I understand this poem. The only thing I see is anger


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