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The future where love hides

She reclined on her raft with a regal ease,
suspended on the cool reservoir waters.
Her eyes focused on some intense thought, blind to the desert horizon.
she turned and looked into my heart, I found myself tangled in her gaze.
A smile crept upon her perfect lips
the light caught the facets in her calming look and I knew as we looked into the others soul,
this is where loves essence has tried to hide and I could see my future in her eyes

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

the biggest fan of romantic poetry, I do believe that you have written some really good lines here. I would use a different word in the line "A smile [eased] it's way across her face." Maybe something like: A smile [crept] it's way across her face? It would send the same and maybe better sense of [ease] or sneak. ~ Geezer.
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I chose eased as it seemed to best fit the whole water motif (in my mind anyway) but I like crept better it does have more sly connotations and hints at something a bit more mischievous

author comment

I like it much better! ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

I like it much better! ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

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