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Smelly Dog ( limerick )
My dog doesn’t smell very sweet
His breath reeks of cabbage and meat
I’ve had quite enough
Cos he’s rolled in some stuff
And it’s matted all over his feet.
His fur is ridden with ticks
He froths at the mouth when he licks
Ah! What the heck
He’s a physical wreck
And he aint very good with the chicks.
He slobbers all over my clothes
And pong's from his head to his toes
He’s making me barf
So I’ll give him a bath
Washing him down with a hose.
No dog suffered in the making of this poem.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Victorclaude
Thu, 2011-01-06 08:40
Poor ol' doggy.
Poor ol' doggy.
Cute limericks!
"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."
Unknown (at least to me)
mand
Thu, 2011-01-06 08:50
Hi Licia
Ha ha - kind of you to say so, some times I wonder about my sense of humour. Lol
Glad it made you laugh.
Hugs and smiles
Mand xxxxxxxxxx
mand
Thu, 2011-01-06 08:51
Ha ha
Fortunately I haven't got a dog! I'd be add up for mall treatment if it looked like this one. Lol.
Thanks Victor, kind of you to read and comment.
Love Mand xxxxxxxxx
Kailashana2
Thu, 2011-01-06 10:07
Woof. Woof. Woof...(...
Woof. Woof. Woof...(....means as long as you don't smell like bacon, you're not smelling so great either.) ;-)
~A
mand
Thu, 2011-01-06 10:11
Ha ha
Bacon and eggs for tea then. Lol
Thanks Anna great to hear from you. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Love Mand xxxxxxx
Loreli
Thu, 2011-01-06 10:46
LMAO
You and Shirley have me laughing today! This is too funny, reminds me of my brothers dog!
Thanks for adding a chuckle to my day!
peace and hugs to you,
Lori
mand
Thu, 2011-01-06 10:52
No problem! Lol
Shirley's poem made me laugh to. It's the phoo that does it. Give your brother's dog a pat from me.
Glad it made you laugh! Thanks for reading and commenting.
Love
Mand xxxxxxxx
lou
Thu, 2011-01-06 11:01
Mand
Sounds very familia have you posted it before?
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
mand
Thu, 2011-01-06 11:23
No ( brand new )
I have done a couple of funny poems - not with a dog a theme though. It's a mystery, perhaps someone else did a poem that's similar.
Thanks Lou
Love Mand xxxxxx
lou
Thu, 2011-01-06 11:21
Yes
it may have been Judy.
anyway good job
love lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
scribbler
Thu, 2011-01-06 12:13
smelly
Very funny but you left out his being sprayed by a skunk lol.I like this a lot ( here comes stan's big ol' )but here's a few ideas to consider if you want to
l-5 change all over to on
l-6 try his fur's ridden with ticks
l-7 try he slobbers when he licks
l-10 change "very" to too and delete "the"
l-11 try something like mucus dribbles from his nose so that in next line
l-12 change and to he
l33 tell stan to bug off................scribbler
mand
Thu, 2011-01-06 12:43
Thanks Stan the man
Haven't got time to make all the corrections now but I'll be back later.
Thanks Stan - your a gem.
Love Mand xxxxxxx
raj
Thu, 2011-01-06 13:28
Dear Mand...
it certainly has the flow and humr of a limmerick..wow..you are getting more creative and innovative...good to read this limmerick...
much love..
raj (sublime_ocean)
mand
Thu, 2011-01-06 17:02
Hi Raj
I'm quite upset because I want to do a really serious creative piece of writing, but it doesn't seem to be happening. Still I'm glad I helped someone to laught today that makes it all worth while.
Thanks Raj your a gem for reading and commenting.
Love Mand xxxxxx
raj
Sat, 2011-01-08 14:25
Hi Mand...
humor is a spice of life...it is quite natural to encounter creative blocks ...nice to know you are working around it by posting this nice Limmerick...after reading this one and the other posted by Victor i feel inspired to try one myself...which would be my maiden attempt..as and when i am done with it and post it here..i would look forward to your critic....
much love..
raj (sublime_ocean)
mand
Thu, 2011-01-06 17:03
Hi Shirl
We both seem to have a thing about phoo. Lol We've had a good laugh today - I thoroughly enjoyed your poem. He he
Thanks Shirl
Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
mand
Sat, 2011-01-08 04:43
Hello Xena
Really good to see you. Hope you're o.k. Ha ha - its farts would just pale into insignificance in my family - I've got five men in the house, besides me of course - you can imagine what it's like sitting down as a family to watch t.v etc. Lol
My nose has become immune to bodily odurs - it's survival of the fittest in our house! Lol.
Thanks Xena. Great to hear from you, thanks for dropping in.
Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxx