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Smelly Dog ( limerick )

Submitted by mand on Thu, 2011-01-06 08:18

My dog doesn’t smell very sweet
His breath reeks of cabbage and meat
I’ve had quite enough
Cos he’s rolled in some stuff
And it’s matted all over his feet.

His fur is ridden with ticks
He froths at the mouth when he licks
Ah! What the heck
He’s a physical wreck
And he aint very good with the chicks.

He slobbers all over my clothes
And pong's from his head to his toes
He’s making me barf
So I’ll give him a bath
Washing him down with a hose.

No dog suffered in the making of this poem.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Victorclaude

Thu, 2011-01-06 08:40

Victorclaude's picture

Poor ol' doggy.

Cute limericks!

"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."

Unknown (at least to me)

mand

Thu, 2011-01-06 08:50

mand's picture
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Ha ha - kind of you to say so, some times I wonder about my sense of humour. Lol

Glad it made you laugh.

Hugs and smiles

Mand xxxxxxxxxx

author comment

mand

Thu, 2011-01-06 08:51

mand's picture
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Fortunately I haven't got a dog! I'd be add up for mall treatment if it looked like this one. Lol.

Thanks Victor, kind of you to read and comment.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxx

author comment

Kailashana2

Thu, 2011-01-06 10:07

Woof. Woof. Woof...(....means as long as you don't smell like bacon, you're not smelling so great either.) ;-)

~A

mand

Thu, 2011-01-06 10:11

mand's picture
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Bacon and eggs for tea then. Lol

Thanks Anna great to hear from you. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

author comment

Loreli

Thu, 2011-01-06 10:46

Loreli's picture

You and Shirley have me laughing today! This is too funny, reminds me of my brothers dog!

Thanks for adding a chuckle to my day!

peace and hugs to you,
Lori

mand

Thu, 2011-01-06 10:52

mand's picture
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Shirley's poem made me laugh to. It's the phoo that does it. Give your brother's dog a pat from me.

Glad it made you laugh! Thanks for reading and commenting.

Love

Mand xxxxxxxx

author comment

lou

Thu, 2011-01-06 11:01

lou's picture

Sounds very familia have you posted it before?

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

mand

Thu, 2011-01-06 11:23

mand's picture
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I have done a couple of funny poems - not with a dog a theme though. It's a mystery, perhaps someone else did a poem that's similar.

Thanks Lou

Love Mand xxxxxx

author comment

lou

Thu, 2011-01-06 11:21

lou's picture

it may have been Judy.

anyway good job

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

scribbler

Thu, 2011-01-06 12:13

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Very funny but you left out his being sprayed by a skunk lol.I like this a lot ( here comes stan's big ol' )but here's a few ideas to consider if you want to
l-5 change all over to on
l-6 try his fur's ridden with ticks
l-7 try he slobbers when he licks
l-10 change "very" to too and delete "the"
l-11 try something like mucus dribbles from his nose so that in next line
l-12 change and to he

l33 tell stan to bug off................scribbler

mand

Thu, 2011-01-06 12:43

mand's picture
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Haven't got time to make all the corrections now but I'll be back later.

Thanks Stan - your a gem.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

author comment

raj

Thu, 2011-01-06 13:28

it certainly has the flow and humr of a limmerick..wow..you are getting more creative and innovative...good to read this limmerick...

much love..

raj (sublime_ocean)

mand

Thu, 2011-01-06 17:02

mand's picture
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I'm quite upset because I want to do a really serious creative piece of writing, but it doesn't seem to be happening. Still I'm glad I helped someone to laught today that makes it all worth while.

Thanks Raj your a gem for reading and commenting.

Love Mand xxxxxx

author comment

raj

Sat, 2011-01-08 14:25

humor is a spice of life...it is quite natural to encounter creative blocks ...nice to know you are working around it by posting this nice Limmerick...after reading this one and the other posted by Victor i feel inspired to try one myself...which would be my maiden attempt..as and when i am done with it and post it here..i would look forward to your critic....

much love..

raj (sublime_ocean)

mand

Thu, 2011-01-06 17:03

mand's picture
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We both seem to have a thing about phoo. Lol We've had a good laugh today - I thoroughly enjoyed your poem. He he

Thanks Shirl

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

author comment

mand

Sat, 2011-01-08 04:43

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Really good to see you. Hope you're o.k. Ha ha - its farts would just pale into insignificance in my family - I've got five men in the house, besides me of course - you can imagine what it's like sitting down as a family to watch t.v etc. Lol

My nose has become immune to bodily odurs - it's survival of the fittest in our house! Lol.

Thanks Xena. Great to hear from you, thanks for dropping in.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxx

author comment
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