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The Bottom Line workshop

This shows the poems in just one one workshop. To see all the poems on Neopoet, go to the stream. Or go to the workshop page itself, where you can find out more about the syllabus.

Anapestic Hexameter Quatrain - Ron Woodruff

Submitted by BlueDemon77 on Mon, 2013-09-30 14:28

ANTI-RANDOLOGY by Ron Woodruff

For the LUCK-/y do SMILE/ for the NEED-/y please TRY/ when in MOURN-/ing do CRY.

We are BE-/ ings of Flesh/ we are TRAPPED/ in this MESH/ love don't QUEST-/ion MORE.

Is it HARD-/er to SEE/ the small DIFF'-/rences plea:/ we are KIN/ 'til we DIE.

for the CHILD-/ ren we HOPE/ on the GLOB-/al scope WE/ must spread LOVE'S/ blessed SPORE.

Ron

Workshop: 
The Bottom Line

"The Dome": Dactylic Hexameter quatrain- Ron Woodruff

Submitted by BlueDemon77 on Mon, 2013-09-30 07:17

The Dome by Ron Woodruff (BlueDemon77)

SCARS lock up | OUR o-pen | GASH-es clean. | SUCH does the | MIND mend life's | PAIN-ful breach:

MEM-or-ies | SPEC-ter like | STRIKE in sleep | BRING-ing past's | TOK-en mists, | PHAN-tom smell

WELLS-i-an | VEN-ture to | VIEW the once | KNOWN shapes of | GRACE-ful breast | STRETCH in reach

HAND grown cold | CHEST pal-lor | DRAINED to know | PAIN of loss | ALL too well.

Ron

Workshop: 
The Bottom Line

To Be Or Not To Be ( a quatrain of Pentemeter - first attempt )

Submitted by mand on Fri, 2013-09-27 10:29

I have been told to write a poem fair.
My mind is blank and so I sit and stare.
No words will come into my head you see,
until I think. "To be or not to be".

I have / been told / to write / a po / em fair.
My mind / is blank / and so / I sit / and stare.
No words / will come / into / my head / you see.
Un til / I think / to be / or not / to be.

Second attempt

Workshop: 
The Bottom Line

Dactylic hexameter quatrain

Submitted by BlueDemon77 on Thu, 2013-09-26 18:56

The Dome by Ron Woodruff (BlueDemon77)

DRY grassland | BROWN, withered | REEDS flowing | SEA-like boughs | BREAK upon | WOODen beach

MEM-or-ies | SPEC-ter like | CROWD the mind | BRINGing past's | TOken mists | Phantom smells

WELLsian | VENture to | VIEW the once | KNOWN shapes of | GRACEful neck | STRETCHing reach

HAND grown cold | CHEST pallor | DRAINED to know | PAIN of loss | HUMan hells

Workshop: 
The Bottom Line

Quatrain of Pentemeter - iamb " The Bottom Line " workshop

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Thu, 2013-09-26 15:57

I'm not sure of my stressed or unstressed words as I tend to get it misplaced. But here it is.
---------------
5th attempt

More More guns gathered, gun groups declared mission
People sitting as ducks, in this cold world
Evil driven psychos, destine to kill
As gun rights groups, make their wishes, well known

More guns/ gathered/ gun groups/ declared/ mission
People/ sitting/ as ducks/ in this/ cold world
Evil/ driven/ psychos/ destine/ to kill
As gun/ rights groups/ make their/ wishes/ well known

Workshop: 
The Bottom Line

Don't Go ( 1st - 2nd - 3rd attempts at an anapest ) ( For critique )

Submitted by mand on Thu, 2013-09-26 10:29

Please don't go, stay with me, I will cry if you leave.
If you go I will crack and fragment into two.
Though broken I will wait patiently for your love.
Look behind you will find I am here loving you.

Please don't go / stay with me / I will cry / if you leave.
If you go /I will crack / and frag..ment / into two.
Though bro.ken / I will wait / patient..ly / for your love.
Look be.hind / you will find / I am here / loving you.

Second attempt:

Workshop: 
The Bottom Line

Anapest Example (Bottom Line Workshop)

Submitted by wesley snow on Wed, 2013-09-25 19:15

Since everyone is moving onto Anapest here is my example. Remember we strive for strict form for the purpose of the workshop. Seldom will you write a poem entirely Anapestic. Help yourself by using polysyllabic words (words of many syllables). They, more than single or double syllable words, tend to mold to a meter surrounding them.

 

In a poem unaware lurks a line Anapestically true.

It is not very often that poems of this type are complete.

So then try as we might we are likely to fail at this form.

Workshop: 
The Bottom Line

Strike two Trochaic pentameter

Submitted by BlueDemon77 on Mon, 2013-09-23 23:37

Strike two Trochaic pentameter

Workshop critique: The Bottom Line
SI-lence | SCRATCH-ing | SNOW-y | BRANCH-less | FOR-est
WIT-ness | GLOW-ing | SCREECH-ing | EYES are | GROW-ing
GUN-shot | ROARS in | DIS-tant | BAN-shee | CHOR-us
SOUNDS as | LOUD as | REAP-ers | COM-ing | GO-ing

RON
Blue Demon77

What I want to be is what I was before the knife, before the bed,
before the brooch pin and the salve fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind.

The Eye-Mote Sylvia Plath

Workshop: 
The Bottom Line

Bottom Line [Trochee]...

Submitted by Geezer on Mon, 2013-09-23 18:53

A way IS the PATH that YOU take FROM me
I wish THAT it WAS back THIS way YOU see
FOR if I was IN love WITH you, YOU know
I could NOT bear TO see YOU go, YOU know?

Workshop: 
The Bottom Line

The Bottom Line...

Submitted by Geezer on Mon, 2013-09-23 18:11

The WIND blew COLD and I shivERED niceLy
the LAND turned BROWN and WE saw TWO mice RUN
howlING gales RAN rathER fastER than ME
I COULD neVER see HOW some FOLKS have FUN

Workshop: 
The Bottom Line

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