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You Should Sleep. I Should Do A Lot of Things.

There are times that I am not supposed to be here.

I should be sitting on your lap
Telling you about the dream I had in gym class
Or maybe just kissing you

I should be tangled in your blankets
Swimming around pillows
Trying to find you

I should be feeling something more
Than the hollow ring of the bell in me
That resembles my voice

I should be hearing your body sing
Breath passing over me
Pull in, push out

I should be learning more
Not vaguely grasping the concepts of
Ionic tendencies and their infallible stupidity

I should be sleeping
Not pining for your ghost
Clicking across the screen

I should be praying for straightforwardness
Something I lack completely
And may never want to regain

I should be sighing into you
Much too eager and
Far too willing

I should be screaming
Telling you to stop
Ripping apart all those atoms

They fucking hurt.
I thought you’d know that…
I never should be so far away.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
it's late.
Editing stage: 


wow! this is a beautiful piece.
the pure longing and yearning of a lonesome heart yearning for that one person who truly fills her, satisfies her and completes her.
Lovely Poem!

You've written the unrequited or absent love without a touch of sentimentality. Unafraid that your emotions show, you sing it out. It hurts a bit to hear it but when the hurt is real, it's an honor. Good work!


Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

strength here! I hear the pain, see the hurt, but it's not maudlin and weepy. Nice work! ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

thank you so much! you guys always make me feel significant :) my dear beau, criticism is always welcome. truth be told it WAS late and i technically wasn't allowed to have access to a word processor :P
thanks again,

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