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Wishful Thinking... [Spreading Wings]

Born To Be Wild
I float upon stormy seas
Forever in my youth
Can't bring me to my knees

I'll ride the blustered winds
All my care-free days
Don't think of me a fool
I won't ever change my ways

I'll tame the ways of age
Figure out the road
Keep on jumping all around
Like Spring's hoppy-toad

So, don't tell me to "Go slower"
I just won't comply
If I say I will, my friend
Just take it for a lie

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

We keep telling ourselves that age won't slow us down but our bodies say otherwise lol

With you ALL the way bro!
Well- 'till its time to empty the bag!

Obi.

(oh, I like the poem, the format, *ahem* and the length! )

that you liked it! I assume you mean the body-bag?
~ Geez.
.

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author comment

makes strong sailors.....not sure what makes toads hoppy, so I'll let that be. Your title suits and is moderately intriguing as is the main body.. Your last stanza could do with a bit of work on the meter, but you likely know that already.

Thomas

....so like my lost dreams...the flood

what you mean by the meter being out of whack, but I tried to fix it anyhow. ~ Geez.
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Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
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author comment

This has a kind of in-your-face, who cares what you think attitude so line 5 strikes me as a little subdued. I feel like the narrator is more likely to call the reader a fool. I agree with Thomas about the last stanza. A quote might tighten it up: Don't tell me, "Go slower!"

I would think that riding the 'blustered winds' would be tantamount to riding a wild bronco. ~ Geez.
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Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
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author comment
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