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The View at Castle Hourglass

There's this castle I once visited
situated under glassage,
I yearn to cross beyond it's drawbridge, once again;

I even long to turn 'round the staircase
should the centurion allow safe passage to a friend;
~
so let me begin again.
There's a castle I once visited,
in fact it's the place my heart remembers as home;

only not from my childhood past
it's the place where I'd settle no more, to roam.
~
With age old steps in stone
and the vista seems so fuzzy,
because foliage knows no bounds, and overgrows;

and, down below is a dungeon....dark
that hasn't seen a shadow of an eye,
~
or a turn of a clever phrase inside of a hollow minute
because it's personal castle gaze
has been groomed to complete it's stare, east-to-west;

a view so honestly true
that it's own silence echos every tick of time,
~
until each eon's mine,
and this castle that I've visited
houses each, and every time frame I've ever owned;

yearning, and turning around a pond on
the most unforgiving grounds I've evergrown.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

... it is undeniably well worded, but I'm not positive I understood all of its metaphors. It almost feels like I read three poems mixed up with one another. Not language per se, but subject.... .... I think. There is a story in there that I'm not getting and it making me mad.
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Wesley is smarter than me and not as nasty.

cheers,
Jess, Neopoet Directors
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