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Victory at Hand

If you wanted the jouney
and you wanted the lands.
If you’ve gotten the victory
and you’ve gotten this hand.

If we’ve fallen for shimmer
and we’ve fallen with grace.
If they’ve recalled the winner
and they’ve recalled our race.

If we’ve failed in all eyes
and we’ve failed in our own.
If you’ve succumb to the lies
and you’ve succumb to the drone.

If we’ve become fuel for regret
and we’ve become anchor to ship.
If they’ve caused your forget
and they’ve caused the hypocrite.

If we’ve surrendered to mood
and we’ve surrendered embrace.
If you’ve accepted solitude
and you’ve accepted this taste.

If you remember your wish
and you remember our dance.
If you’ve asked for all of this
and you’ve asked for a chance.

If you rejected the journey
and you rejected the lands.
You’d still have the victory
You’d still have my hand.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 


The repetition of and then the if all the way through just didn't bring anything to me.
I mostly look at themes, this seemed to go on much to long where about four good stanzas could have summarised the whole thing, sorry it was just simple but hard to read.
I will have a look at other works of yours in a moment and see what gives, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I write fluff for the women I love sometimes. It is good for the soul to let go of the complex ugliness of words once in a while and to just reinforce unconditional love. But I agree that this is simple lyrics to a 4 chord love song.


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