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Replace my Pounds with Fucks

it is my
my philosophy

that one should
pound.
pound
their reader.

understanding that when they/the (reader) { U }
are/is reading your work
you are

pounding them
from within their/your brain, you are
pounding them

slowly hard
hardly fast
gent please
fasten your
gentlemen
gent gleee
hard more
soft roar
hard core.

that one should pound
one should pound
you should pound.
pound
philosophy.

pound is my
philosophy.

so let
and get
pounded
my confounded
my reader.

my reader { U }
loves my/them
self the sucker.
oh my reader.
I am your pounder.

my reader.
my tender reader.
pound after pound
still my reader.

still now
my reader.
be still now.
still my pounding leader.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

your perspective on visual and pronoun based commentary is advanced and helpful.
my disregard for some simple rules of grammar is deliberate but at times still in need of loving help.
but we must also face the reality that you are not advanced in your courage surrounding the power of a word...for example

fuck.

the dual twist of my poem is that it exercises a part of your brain you normally shy away from in the world of precise and refined academia. this is done to a fault and breaking the rules once you know them makes you a bit more ......honest.

thank you and I hope you can continue to help me improve my imagination and its ability to communicate

Danny

author comment

Please explain to the jurors of the court the inherent and obvious (in your head) difference between "effective communication", "successful ad campaigns", "charming slogans", "brilliant hymns", "empowering sermons", "cheap shots", or my personal favorite "lazy successes." What I ask is are you writing to please a set of rules and critique philosophies developed under a worship of dollar and sublime programming or are you coming to win? Are you creative beyond the guise of cool and popular. Can you re-imagine effective? Can you admit moment after moment that you are in all probability incorrect based on the only knowledge you have to go on? I am. Cheap shots used to be a sin to me. Now...they are mine to wield without regard for repetition or your pigeon holing of the word creativity. I am here to get shit done...and that my friend requires a surrender to the absurd and a wreck-less abandon of right and wrong. Did the poem make you feel a unique emotion or inspire you to improve upon it? Me thinks it did.

author comment

I am never offended by a positive mind that is spending time on improving my own and other pieces.
Playing with you I am.
I was asking about your personal writing when I commented on what you yourself embrace, not your writing of critiques.
Alas your explanation for "fuck" being less effective was never actually answered by anything other than what can only be described as your "taste" for its effectiveness but I was challenging you to explain it in terms of effective communication to my target audience. Turning off the word Fuck takes away the one mental warble I built the entire piece around. It has done its job with you as well. My target audience was a tiny part of the brain excited by needing to reverse a word within a piece themselves. The word being a bit crass made the exercise that much more effective and memorable in my opinion. Again...comment on what I have asked. Do not focus on how I personally offended you. It was just to draw you out of your own comfort zone as a greatly respected peer. Critique me I ask from a platform that gives no shame to the word "fuck" and one that recognizes that using "cheap tricks" can be purposeful and necessary.
You know you are no coward...so when you feel like someone might be calling you one...defend it with brilliance and laughter.
I hope to learn much from each other, I just have a different mindset for the rules of engagement. I feel our traditional ones are too slow and that we can side step our own emotions when in a safe place such as this.
Peace and love.

_Danny

author comment

I few minor prosodic errors but pound, pound pound is what true poets do.

Poets from the heart are invariable crap.

If we can't impact, pound, effect, provoke thought, unduce epihany and social change we are poetry dilletantes. Dogs writing doggeral.

A poet after my own intellect.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

You will be a valuable friend that lives inside and only perhaps but maybe more than just and justly in my hellion head.
Cheers.

author comment

for me anyway
I love editorials
the sizzlings of the interested ones
...
there are those that flicker
but the true art
of the critic au de rage
is depth

offer facets
like a multi cut diamond
firing rather then the
dull crude stone in its raw
emotive slam

I like finesse

I may be a hipster!!

i un-edit my friend. perhaps there are no waves of awe to ride upon.

author comment

I've read this a few times now and Im still unsure if I love it or hate it but its got me thinking so I can say its done its job lol let me sleep on it

Regards Jayne-Chloe

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

of two pounding with each other
who is stronger ??
the pounder
or pounded
that makes me wonder

but your attempt is profounder ..

loved

great
pounder
replaced well traced
your philosophy will be embraced

loved

And the interactions that followed even more interesting
Never defend your position or the views of others
They are .... After all...... Only views..... To be consumed............ Or ignored
Sticks and stones
Break my bones
But words will never hurt them
BE HAPPY

The hippie kid from grade school had brought a
tape recorder and was playing george carlin's
comedy live show with and using the word Fuck
in place of Kill!!... he was using a western
theme..the bad guy talking of the sheriff...

I was just a novice sociologist but laughed with
the crowd of rowdies huddled in their team
by the brushes...I can take you there to this spot
although the school has been remodelled
I still remember hearing George for the first time...

I was thinking of this change...."Founds with Pucks"

foundling...Pucks....canadian system .. we adopt
and we love hockey and swearing too

I remember my mother off to purchase a leper aviation
leather jacket for me from the Sunday Sun (toronto) Advertisment
they went to the factory..in some lane downtown T.O. they
found the adress and a motorcycle covered in dust was there
by the loading door with "Fuck" and nothing else written neatly
on the tank...My mother told me the story...she was taught to write
in the forties with a knib and ink fountian in a one room school house
in a place called Scotia Junction....She met my father there
(They adopted me) anyway....its written in Neon pink in the tunnel
where the old radar nuke watchers were..The Old ONR tube tunnel
for the Norad nerds..A young womans handwriting
along with WOLF PACK in vivid green!! The young have such
vibrant souls today!!

I like hard rock too and the norse rock is tremendously strong
Avril Lavigne sings in her work... "Mother*******ng princess"

poetry is art and artists are always under the microscope
always...

but then again being an artist
is hard mother********ng work!!

I love the comments this has garnered

Thank You!

Silvya Plath..Anne Sexton..Virginia Wolf..Ian Curtis
Curt Cobain..Jim Morrison..St Euxperie..(He flew combat missions)
(Hemmingway fought for the spanish)
list is endless of artist s who speak their mind or create draw
images that piss off the press the world..people in general
..
when you start to publish and go mainstream and vault up
from semi pro..which I think this site is....then one is opt for
the harsher critiques....

all the above went through the process and became mainstream
names working for money or prestige or whatever
and all were brought down by failed marriages....the harsh
weight of scandal and skepticism etc

the addictions and loneliness
show me an addict looking for the lines
or the clean and straight poet waiting
for commision cheques in the mail
with hungry children or rent to pay
..

Harry Potter author started out with not much
saw her doc..she looks haunted
even with her millions and billion
and she gives back

I was sad when Thomspon took his life
but not suprised
and that Burroughs lived to be an old man
(He did get away with shooting his woman
in the head) can anyone here do this today
and get off like he did??

next subject....

we can write harleguin
or hardcore here
its allowed...

there is no law saying
we have to do this or that
just the rules to abide by

if we F****! up we get a holiday
and a trial to come back

if you are back its because
it was a well thought out
thing...
not because you were owed
anything..

remember that

I was at a few crash scenes
most people stand about with
their blank stares
I directed people
I hauled out the people
put out the fire
put coats on the injured
and drove off before the
feds got there...(someone
fell asleep at the wheel)

Poetry is poetry
swearing is shock

writing shocking poems subtley
is harder

I like this........
that it has enlivened
us

just a simple everyday word
now..

it no longer is the word it once was
and sometimes I admit it feels
good to let one loose..

imagine even pure me..

thanks for writing poetry
and thanks poets

makes Neopoet Neo

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