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Two stripy kittens

Two stripy kittens
Impatient for lunch
One was called Tabby the other was Munch.

Eagerly waiting
They both stood to beg
Loudly meowing and rubbing my leg.

Cute tiger Tabby
Flicking her tail
Attacked and swiped the poor ginger male.

His hair stood on end
He gave her a cuff
And said in a low voice “that’s quite enough”.

It’s time for dinner
There’s no time for play
His ears went back and he pushed her away.

Smugly Munch kitten
Retracted his claws
And sat down contented, licking his paws.

Two stripy kittens
Lay on my soft bed
But one was bloated and feeling well fed.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Editing stage: 


Can't wait to read this to my neices, they'll love it the way i do. I can picture Kittens as i read this.Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

He he - cute kittens, full of play.

Nice of you to read and comment

Thanks Roscoe

Love Mand xxxxxxx

author comment

Great to see ya! What a lovely comment - your so sweet, thanks Shirl. They can be so much fun to watch!

Thanks Shirl - give my love to Vanni

Love Mand xxxxxxx

author comment

all i can say after reading this lovely write is "give Tabby and Munch a cuddly hug"....thats how effective your poem is....

much love..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Cute little kittens - fun to watch he he.

Thanks Raj

Love Mand xxxxxx

author comment

The monkeys!
They are sometimes quite odd in their behaviour,
but I am not sure I have seen this happen.

We had to look after two cats, one was black and one was grey,
the grey one, having eaten his meal would put its head in under its body;
its a wonder it could breath;
and sleep like that there and then in the kitchen!!
Very odd I thought, but they weren't kittens 'scuse I.

I thought this great fun and smiled a lot dear Mand, love from Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

Always good to see your smiling face. If I have made one person smile with this poem then I am happy - I'm especially happy it's you.

Thanks Ann, lovely to hear from you! It is brilliant sunshine here in South Wales, I hope you are having a nice day to.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

author comment

This would be a great childrens poem in its sweetness and simplicity. bravo...................stan

Great Stan! Thanks for your kind comment. Good to see you, I hope all the snow has gone now! enough is enough.

Love and hugs

Mand xxxxxxx

author comment

Sorry to hear about your three cats. It's always sad when an animal we love has to go to another home. I was heart broken when one of my dogs puppies ( the last to go in the litter ) went to a new home, I can still see her face today as she went off in the car. And I want to cry when I think about it - she was so beautiful. We don't have much of a garden and at the time we had two dogs, still I regret letting her go.

You did the best you could and knowing they are in good homes must help alot.

Sorry this bought you sorrow - We can cry together.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

author comment
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