Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Twilight's Standings on her Landings

I measured out in twilight, past
how cold was the chandelier sky,
I viewed fine lacettes made from shadows
as I slipped into twilight without a try.

Had you been there, I would've taken you into
night's neon-star, lightning maze,
you'd have to hold on to me ever, so tight
for the trip lasting seconds, felt like days!

With a wink, and a blink I took a ride in the sky
in a fraction of twilight, so quick!
I grabbed hold of an odd-numbered moonbeam
and was flying so fast, I felt sick!

I saw first, the mistwhips all hovering
for they play in both worlds, no remorse;
the faeries were there, helping everyone land
for we all arrived with considerable force!

There were hobbits, and hobgoblins dancing around
in celebration of their Guestival Solstice,
we sipped hobnog, and ate truffles in the woods
for the world I'd have never missed this!

The landscape, and scenery were just like a dream
the sunset offered colors, brand new;
time there didn't matter so, I asked of an elf
to get home, what will we have to do?

This old elfin was not really, forthcoming
his instructions sounded drunkenly, vague,
I listened as he slurred, and embellishd
that's how I found he was pulling my leg!

Then truth in a gnome's outfit told me
some folks get tricked into a long stay,
the hobgoblins get sillier whenever having, grog
causing humans to think it's the same day!

That's where things can kind of get, "tricky"
because, you must return home before dawn;
otherwise, you could wind-up a statue
on a building high, or some gnome family's lawn!

I must say, it was quite the adventure!
Plus, I'm so lucky to have found a sober gnome,
had I not, I'd still be guarding wild safflowers
and that garden would be, my new home!

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Just happened to find this "log entry" about a journey I took!
Editing stage: 


...I offer this as an edited version. What say, you? Any better?
I appreciate your candor, very much.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.