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Sunrise

Underlying beauty, glazing sky,
here you are to greet me.
Intangible colors, rising.
awakening cold heart at dawn.

It feels like green eyes can see;
for the very first time!
A soul that's stirring up,
a full pot of bright thoughts,
brimming the edge of serenity.
Although bricks and bough's stand in way,
you are holy, beaming love,
on this winters day.

Lucky for me, you return,
with a slow salute tomorrow.
I'll greet you there at same time.
Abiding in appreciation,
through kitchen window dew,
you shine.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Inspired by a beaut of a sunrise this morning.
Editing stage: 

Comments

This is a pleasant read. I enjoyed it.
I wonder why you leave out or don't remove certain words though.

This is just some variation but these verses had me slowed down to look again.
Undying beauty in glazing sky,
Underlying beauty, glazing sky,
here you are to greet me.
Intangible colors rising,
awakens cold heart at dawn.

And I could carry on.
You might find that way more rhythmic.

I do like your expression very much.

Later,

.
.
That's how I see it,

Mark L.

I'm not sure, I think part of me wants to compensate and write more words to add extra syllables? But the more I write and read poetry on here, it's getting easier to see what's not necessary.
Do ever feel free to carry on! Haha
I like the way you rephrased that verse, more rythmatic!
Thanks for the comment.

Regards,
Bjucks

author comment

In my life I'm in a comfortable prison.
Writing or my writing life is all work. There are times I make a connection and feel some freedom in replying but generally no. I'm still doing the work my friend in writing. I believe it will only come to an end when I do.
:~(

.
.
That's how I see it,

Mark L.

Be easy on yourself in your practice!
Connection is everything in art/love. Isnt it?
I'm rooting for you! Keep writing and growing

Regards
Bjucks

author comment

I do the best that I can, not much time left though.

.
.
That's how I see it,

Mark L.

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