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S.O.S

Deeply rooted in the process
Of putting our weapons down
And dismantling sabotage
Lies a white flag
Steady in the wind
Sturdy in true love

Feel mighty indulgences
Smiling back at your spirit
It turns to a darkness
Depleting the heartless
Until there’s nothing left
Dispirited individuals
Withering in truth
Or blind unto it

Born innocent we are
With no judgment to hail
As time moves forward
A mighty hunger prevails
Always raw for truth
Or a sliver of peace
What else is waiting?
After all the truth is faced
When your higher-self floats
Above all the empty space
For peace to make way
To make it everlasting
So we never have to say
Save our souls
Tomorrow and today

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

what the white flag symbolizes. Is it Hope? I get the sense that it may signify the hope that we may someday have a world peace. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

It symbolizes peace and love. Mostly love in this sense. And how it's something all of us have in common, when we dig a little deeper.

Traditionaly, a white flag was a symbol for peace and surrending in a conflict or war? Correct me if I'm wrong! The white flag note was also ment to reference (more personal to my view) that most people are sick of war and biases that are engrained in most. And if we all showed our inner circle that were putting our white flag up and only allowing love to guide us forward in this day and age. The ripple affect it could have... I know that may sound like wishful thinking but I believe in the power or love and how it can change people.

"There is no way to peace, peace is the way." -- A.J Muste

Jenny

author comment

I believe the walls that we put up so that we don't get hurt, are the biggest part of our problems in achieving a universal peace. Many times, we strike out in ways to deter others from getting too close. A shame! I try to smile at one person everyday; encourage them to approach me and learn something about them. I would look for another way to express the [withering] thought. A white flag is not a living thing, I don't think that wither fits; maybe if you compared the flag to a living thing? Then you could have it wither!
~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I think the poetic idea of the white flag, as a symbol, a metaphor, is certainly a good one. I think the final stanza really works for me as a start.

Deeply rooted in the process
Of putting our weapons down
Lies a white flag
Steady in the wind
Sturdy in love...

the first stanza of both sunning and raining is confusing, the second has the flag withering...

I would just keep writing references that pop up in your mind as you find a way to show us in the sound of words, in the color of words, the meaning of surrender, and create your image..like the poems about the rose, or other symbolic objects. then it all comes together.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

for the perspectives and comments. A white flag as symbolism is tricky but powerful. Will take everything into account! Hope it conveys a bit better now with some more editing

Jenny

"There is no way to peace, peace is the way."

author comment
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