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Sufficiently Breathless

~

Not one thing
can better describe

the essence of a soul's own vibe,

than what prompts a heart to quicken
like a bird's;

~

we've both shared
footprints shadow made

but, sunlit footprints never fade;

love leaves us breathless,
with narry a need for words.

~

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage: 

Comments

coudl be better formatted

cheers,
Jess, Neopoet Directors
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

...is this better suited for your formatting tastes?
This way i'ts a little more, elongated; ya know?
thanx,
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

and shake my head. I wasn't very helpful, was I? However this is a good revision in terms of edits and formatting, good job.

cheers,
Jess, Neopoet Directors
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

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